WALL OF SHAME: Marty Warner & the Pastors, Christians & Ministries Who Support Him
"It takes a powerful person to cry out despite those who'd prefer the convenience of silence. It takes a fearless person to allow their sadness to come out from the tight box of cultural expectations to be expressed and processed. And it takes a world of strength for the same person to be true to their feelings, own their emotional territory --- to walk into the very chaos of its outright messiness --- and uncover the paragons of victory and joy that were held by them, for such an aching long time, so quietly within." - Susan Frybort
During the years of our marriage, fear of my husband, his religious leaders and religious authorities was branded in my mind. The quiet still voice inside of me reminded me that something was very wrong. I felt alarmed, but there was nowhere to go and no one to tell. Several years of severe mental and physical abuse left my senses blunted; everything became blurred. The instincts of self-preservation, of self-defense, of pride, deserted me.
Angelina Jolie’s movie, In the Land of Blood and Honey, featured women who were sex
slaves during the war or occupation and how they strived to please men - just for their
safety. I resonated and related to the message in this film because that was all my marriage was based on - pleasing and obeying my husband - for my safety and well-being.
I had learned as a child that if I didn't do as I was told, my personal safety would be endangered. My experiences in my marriage and the Christian cults reinforced these beliefs–isolation, physical and sexual abuse and/or emotional and mental pain would follow any questioning of others' motives, power and control of me.
Two hundred years ago a system of legal slavery allowed for the ownership of human beings as if they were livestock. Children were ripped away from their mothers with as little consideration as separating a calf from a cow. In this country today, extreme forms of paternalistic religion promote an institutional form of slavery where a woman must be totally obedient to a husband who has absolute control of her life. The wife’s lot is to obey and bear children. If she rebels and chooses to save herself by escaping from this life, the father—supported by the church community and often by the court system—can forcibly strip a child away from the mother.
I was 'groomed' to accept abuse and violence since I was a young girl. I had no other reference in life. There was no help, nowhere to go and no one to tell. When my great uncle was allowed, by my own parents and grandparents, to continually rape me for years, nothing I said or did could make it stop.
As a young child I learned that abusers were embraced and protected.
Sadly, as an adult, I have discovered the rules of this game have not changed much. My abusers, still, have been repeatedly embraced and protected.
"As I watch the news today, I see all sorts of other cases pretty similar to Coral Theill's. The thing that I just do not understand about our "system" is why or how can we allow what happened to Coral (and is still happening) to happen. Some are held against their will, raped, battered, abused and then glorified as are the three ladies from Ohio. Guys are considered "heroes" as a result of being the person to make a phone call to the authorities about it. Then we have those in the same situation (and maybe even worse) who are blamed, ostracized from society, stripped not only of their children but of their dignity, ridiculed, and even forced into hiding and receive absolutely no support from anyone in the justice system who by the way are supposed to be by the people, of the people and for the people." - Excerpt of a letter from Sergeant Major Brian K. Jackson, USMC (Ret) to Mr. Joel Corcoran, U.S. Senator Jeff Merkley's assistant, May 9, 2013
People ask me what I have learned from the local religious and judicial systems these past 20 years. I candidly share with them that I have learned that in America’s dominator society "my body is not mine, but belongs to the community that upholds male dominance and female possession and ownership. By being possessed (occupied) the female becomes weak, depleted, and usurped, in all her physical and mental energies and capacities by the one who has physically taken her, by the one who occupies her. Her body is used up, and the will is raped. In our society, 'masculinity is still measured by how well a man controls his wife in the house and his horse in the field.'”—Andrea Dworkin
Although it is illegal to mentally abuse someone in court and in depositions, my former mental/nervous breakdown became the subject for ridicule in court. The judge didn't seem to mind Mr. Warner's attorney ridiculing me about my mental breakdown, or my physical shortcomings while I was on the witness stand. In court, my husband's attorney, Mr. Mark Lawrence, made numerous comments about the sexual abuse and the rapes I suffered as a child. His questions were intrusive, inappropriate and abusive. I had not yet had the opportunity to seek professional help regarding my childhood sexual abuse issues and was traumatized by his questions. These issues did not pertain to my divorce or the temporary custody hearings. Each night my mother put me in a bedroom with a convicted murderer and sex offender during my elementary school years.
On several occasions Mr. Lawrence made comments about my body odor during the time of my breakdown and my inability to care for my personal hygiene at that time. I could not understand the relevancy this had during a child custody hearing. I was not ashamed of my breakdown, but I did not believe I needed to be unnecessarily humiliated about details relating to that time.
After the traumas of childhood, twenty years of subjugation to my husband, Marty Warner, and his extreme religious views, a breakdown and rapes by my husband, the treatment by the courts was a FINAL OUTRAGE.
When I sought safety for my children and myself in January 1996, the Court allowed me to live in hiding with my young children prior to the court hearings, due to the testimony and affidavits of numerous witnesses. I retained an attorney and reported the crimes that had been committed against my children and me.
Leaving a family system that condones domestic violence, rape, the molestation and rape of children, psychological murder, coercive control, spiritual and ritual abuse [cults] was my only safe and sane choice.
Individuals who escape abuse and torture deserve the utmost respect and support. These people have risked it all to heal and stand up for the truth. These people are heroes and angels who hold a horrific reality for everyone else. They have suffered and escaped, and for that, we should bow our head in reverence and listen to their stories.
There are individuals mentioned in my story who refused to acknowledge the horrors of my survival of marital abuse and my cry for help. They became an obstacle to my basic human rights—freedom and safety. I am holding them responsible and accountable for the continued trauma I have experienced throughout the past twenty years. I believe my human rights were violated by specific people: my ex-husband and his attorneys, my attorneys who did nothing to halt the humiliation I experienced in Court, the judges who allowed the process to continue by supporting the frivolous and unwarranted claims made by my ex-husband from 1996 - 2016, and his enablers, i.e, family, friends and religious supporters who condone the the crimes of rape and violence committed against me and my children. To this day, the religious community is so blinded by an abhorrence of divorce [arrogance and ignorance] that they have closed their eyes and their hearts to the truth.
I am requesting that the acts of disrespect, dishonesty and violence
against me be acknowledged and resolved. I have concluded, by my present circumstances, that the judicial and religious organizations and people who have aided my former husband all embrace the same views regarding women and children. They believe male power is absolute over women and great harm will come to those who question and/or defy that power. I believe this is the mentality that causes and perpetuates abuse.
I would like the satisfaction of an apology from all of these people. Restitution is not likely, but resolution is necessary. I did not believe I would survive the court trauma, but that does not mean I have given up on getting justice. I believe that if you do not seek or ask for justice, you are victimized twice.
Photo was titled "Family of the Year" - 2013 - Independence, OR
Coral Anika Theill's eight children with their father,
Marty Warner (my abusive ex-husband)
From L to R
Since my divorce in 1996 my children have verbally abused me and shunned me. The older children have assisted my ex-husband in brainwashing my younger children to hate and despise me. Sadly, I have received dozens of "hate letters" from my adult children telling me I am a tool of Satan. My ex-husband lied to his friends and the church community. He told them that I was mentally ill and living in a mental institution. In 2012 he told his church community I had committed suicide. My son, Joshua Warner, posted on his website at Corban University that he was born in Albany, Oregon to Marty Warner (no mother) and that being raised in a family of eight children was easy. (I was blind when I was pregnant with Joshua. As a mother I protected Joshua and his siblings from his rageaholic father.) Christian school teachers at Santiam Christian School, Corvallis, Oregon, shamed my children and told them they had been abandoned by their mother.
During the summer of 1996, before my final divorce hearing, I meditated on what I should do regarding my children. They are all equally precious to me and it made no sense to seek custody of only the baby or the younger three or four children. The message to the other children would be confusing. I decided to relinquish custody of my eight children. Dr. Jean Furchner, my custody evaluator, stated in her report to the Court, "There is little in the current situation that will foster any respect for the mother...the emotional message of derogation is the issue."
Dr. Jean Furchner interviewed Dr. Charles D. South, my obstetrician. Her report states: "I spoke with Charles D. South, M.D., who is OB/Gyn who delivered the twins and has seen Kathy through several of her deliveries. He said she had a very difficult time at the last delivery, with Zachary, hemorrhaging and in distress; the doctor wanted to start the IV and other therapy and was opposed by Mr. Warner; he said he finally had to intervene and begin the treatment because the patient was in real trouble. Dr. South states that he has been disillusioned by Mr. Warner, who presented himself early as a doting father but who has allowed his beliefs in male dominance and his control needs to interfere. He comments that Kathy [Coral] was probably passive and notes her recent depression; he comments that he has come to see this patient as mentally abused in the marriage."
As the years passed by, I gave up hope for a healthy relationship with my children because of their father's religious view of women and his disrespect towards me. My children were told by their father and his religious supporters that I am "sick, wicked, evil and immoral." They were told that I abandoned them. They attended Santiam Christian School near Corvallis, Oregon, and were taught the same Christian principles that have oppressed woman and children for centuries.
I asked Mr. Warner why he would not allow me to participate in the children's school activities. Mr. Warner replied, "You are an enemy of the cross of Christ." Mr. Warner's Christian supporters taught my own children to shun me. According to their interpretations of their rule book - the Bible, these misled Christians decided what rights I have. They treated me with the same disdain they believed their god has for me.
Many children who have no contact with their protective parent have clear functional amnesia. They have no memories other than those created and re-created by the controlling parent. These children successfully re-program who and what they are outside as well as within.
Although my children have erased me from their life,
I am not dead, I am very much alive, and I have a face, and a name. I have been and will always be very involved in their life, even if it is only through prayer. I am praying that someday my children will choose to become "aware, awake and conscious" concerning details of their past and present. Their lack of awareness regarding their own life will greatly affect those around them. I pray my children will find good role models and mentors. I also pray that someday my children find the courage to walk through the unpleasant details of their past.
Domestic violence is a complex problem with roots in an oppressively hierarchical, patriarchal violence-accepting society.
For nearly twenty years, I was married to a man who ruled his household with absolute authority. His personal justification for his behavior came from Biblical scripture. During the course of our marriage, I bore him eight children. My firstborn children were identical twin girls. I also suffered three miscarriages. I home schooled the oldest children for several years, renovated three houses, baked, canned, gardened, etc. I was treated as a possession (slave). In the course of my marriage I was drawn, against my will, into numerous extreme fundamental churches and cults which emphasized patriarchal authority and the obedience of women.
Throughout our marriage Mr. Warner often referred to me as a "cow or a horse in need of being bred." Mr. Warner insisted on sexual relations immediately before and after the birth of each my children. He had no regard for the risk of infection he subjected me to or the pain he caused. He used me sexually when I was physically ill, while I was blind in 1987 and during my breakdown in 1993-1994, while I was unable to are for myself.
The type of trauma individuals experience from cults and their leaders is
similar to that described by POW’s. The trauma experienced by cult members
results from being powerless and abused day after day, year after year,
whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually – souls are literally emaciated.
Your dreams and relationships die and are replaced by daily obedience to the
leaders. While spiritual abuse victims may or may not suffer physical abuse, their
souls are battered and bleeding. Life inside a cult is death by a thousand cuts or what some experts call “metaphysical stoning.”
I was a nurturing and loving mother during the years of our marriage. My married life continued the pattern of my childhood. After surviving 20 years of multiple pregnancies, sleep deprivation, ritual, emotional, and mental abuse, torture, rapes and physical assaults within my marriage, I had finally suffered a severe physical/emotional breakdown due to the constant ongoing violence. While in this near catatonic state, I was again physically assaulted and raped by my husband, causing my eighth pregnancy despite the warnings of my doctors.
His brutal treatment pushed my health further to the edge. While completely broken down I was ridiculed, exorcised for demons, told I was a ‘witch’ and cursed by God by my husband, his friends and family, pastors and ‘Christian’ cult leaders and counselors.
Photo: "Wings of Love" Christian Half Way House, Killingsworth, Portland, Oregon
When my attorney, Mr. David Gearing, questioned my brother, Don Hall, on the witness stand about visiting me in the spring of 1994 at the “Wings of Love” half-way house, [re-education camp] my brother wept as he explained the dangerous and filthy living situation in which I was left while too ill to take care of myself.
While living at the "Wings of Love Half-Way House," I went into shock and just wanted to die. In this place of horror I had no hope of getting well. It depressed me to think of my future–continuing to serve a husband who believed it was his God given right to "break me.” My husband said, “I love you, Kathy[Coral]” as he left.
The word “love” by now had a numbing effect on my soul.
"Violent, irrational, intolerant, allied to racism, tribalism and bigotry, invested in ignorance and hostile to free inquiry, contemptuous toward women and coercive toward children; organized religion ought to have a great deal on its conscience." - Christopher Hitchens
During the period of my breakdown/depression in the spring of 1994, my husband, Mr. Marty Warner, and his pastors left me at the "Wing's of Love" half-way house on Killingsworth in Portland, Oregon, to punish and "break me" (their words) to the will of God. "The house was a shelter for ex-cons, street people and prostitutes. It was filthy and infested with rats and lice. My husband’s debt-free estate, at this time, was over a quarter- of- a million dollars. It was a frightening experience during the period of my illness/breakdown for my “abuser” ex-husband, his Christian cult leaders and religious supporters to be in charge of my “recovery program.” Three months earlier, I had a D & C due to my 3rd miscarriage from being raped by my husband. I was helpless and physically and mentally incapacitated during this time due to my breakdown and partial stroke.
After the birth of my eighth child in 1995, I recovered physically and mentally and divorced my husband. The treatment I received in Oregon’s courts was more abuse and humiliation. Sexual crimes I endured as a child, my breakdown, my fertility and the ‘rape’ by my husband all became subjects for ridicule in court. Oregon Circuit Court Judge Albin Norblad laughed when he heard I became pregnant when my husband raped me.
Despite all this, I was able to recover, birth my baby and cherish bonding and breastfeeding. After undergoing several tests and psychiatric evaluations, my physicians stated I was completely recovered. In 1995, my OB/GYN physician, Dr. Charles D. South, recommended I divorce my abusive husband.
At this point, after experiencing forty years of violence and abuse in my personal life, I had had enough. I intuitively knew that continuing this way of life would eventually kill me. I went to Oregon's courts for help and protection for myself and my children.
Nothing had prepared me for the horrors that I would experience in what we call 'Oregon's justice and legal system.'
I have spent long hours trying to make some sense of my life and have come to the conclusion that when horror overcomes us the only response possible is to remember what happened and tell the story.
On March 10, 1996, I was forced, by an Order of the Court, and by my ex-husband, Marty Warner, his attorney, his family and religious supporters, to do something that raged against my good conscience, my common sense and against all my motherly instincts. After a temporary custody hearing, a Court Order signed by Judge Albin Norblad forcibly removed my nursing baby and two youngest children from me. I obeyed the Court Order and gave my children over to my ex-husband. I drove to the hospital, rented a breast-pump and later collapsed and went into shock.
I could not understand what had happened and why.
I have not yet recovered from the shock; perhaps I never will....
July 1995, independence, Oregon
The price for my own safety and freedom in 1996 was an imposed, unnatural and unwanted separation from my eight children, including my nursing infant. The injustice committed against me is not just the physical separation from my children, but the willful desecration of the mother-child relationship and bond, a sacred spiritual and emotional entity.
I was awarded visitation privileges every other weekend. I was subjected to ongoing bullying, threats, physical violence, sexual assault, marital rape, kidnapping and coercive control by my husband before our divorce with the full knowledge of the Court and the attorneys who represented me. I was subjected to further threats, bullying and coercive control after our divorce. Often my ex-husband would not allow my children to see me on Court ordered visitation weekends.
In 1999, I legally changed my name and entered a state address protection program for safety from my ex-husband. A federally funded program, to protect my safety, acknowledged I was a victim of extreme abuse, yet the Courts remanded my eight children to a known perpetrator, the children’s father.
"Our society is currently giving mothers a powerful and crazy-making mixed message. First, it says to mothers, “If your children’s father is violent or abusive to you or to your children, you should leave him in order to keep your children from being exposed to his behavior.” But then, if the mother does leave, the society many times appears to do an abrupt about-face, and say, “Now that you are spilt up from your abusive partner, you must expose your children to him. Only now you must send them alone with him, without you even being around anymore to keep an eye on whether they are okay.”
"What do we want? Do we want mothers to protect their children from abusers,
or don’t we?" - Lundy Bancroft, Custody Justice
Many mothers who seek safety from abuse are routinely prohibited from having even the most basic contact with their own children, not because they were unfit parents, but because they were outspent, out represented, and out-maneuvered in a court atmosphere not prepared to understand the needs of families dealing with domestic violence.
Battered women may lose their babies and children, their homes, their friends and their livelihood. Survivors of childhood abuse will often even lose their families. Rarely does society recognize the dimensions and long lasting effects of this reality for the victim.
Losing permanent custody and visitation of your children feels like being doused in oil and set on fire. Healing is slow and difficult. The pain never goes away. I still wake up with night terrors. The memory of being forced to give up my children is a continual torment to my body, mind and soul. A non-custodial mother remarks: “to lose one’s children in such a way would unmake any woman.” And it is true. Taking a woman’s children is the last great punishment an abuser can scar them with. To be publicly and permanently branded ‘unfit’ is a new scarlet letter. It can and will scar an entire family for life.
LIFE Magazine, USA Today and many other organizations have featured articles on women in prison in America. They report that women prisoners are allowed to keep their babies with them for eighteen months while serving their sentences (Florida Statute 944-24).
I am haunted by these questions. Why was I treated lower than a criminal in America and I have no criminal record and have no history of alcohol, drug or child abuse? Why did I lose all contact with my children when I was a VICTIM of numerous crimes? Why was custody of these children given to the PERPETRATOR of these crimes with no questions asked? Why is a registered sex offender, who molested/raped my young daughters allowed to visit my daughters and I, their mother, am not.
I have concluded that I am nothing more than a brood mare and egg donor for the church and state, I have no rights as a disabled person and nurturing mother, and that seeking safety from abuse and violence led to the abrupt removal of my nursing infant and children, being sued by my ex-husband, legally stalked, homelessness and poverty.
Until now, to survive the court trauma and shock, I kept my feelings regarding the rapes deep within me. I can't find that woman,–the empty shell with bandaged wrists any more. She was mentally gone, spiritually stripped and being used like a whore and a brood mare by the man who "legally owned her."
This fact leaves me at a loss for words and is probably one of the reasons I felt compelled to change my name I don't know Kathy Hall, anymore. I believe the day she was raped while so physically, mentally and emotionally broken, she died.
Severe trauma can so impact our ability to recognize
our self, that even the face in a mirror is a stranger.
On April 22, 1999, I legally changed my name to
Coral Anika Theill at the Marion County Courthouse,
in Salem, Oregon. Kathy Hall was laid to rest.
Andrea Dworkin, in her book, Intercourse, analyzes the
institution of sexual intercourse and how that institution, as
defined and controlled by patriarchy, has proven to be a
devastating enslavement of woman.
Forcibly taking a mother's children, and then controlling her emotionally by withholding contact must be publicly recognized as one of the greatest forms of 'mis-use' of the American justice system and one of the greatest hidden vehicles for wide-spread socially approved physical and emotional abuse and control.
To this day, I remember the terrifying fear I felt for years as a child and also during my marriage that had me lying awake shaking some nights. Every form of abuse has a long lasting effect on each one of us. I have learned to value the horrifying scars of my childhood and past as valuable raw material for soul work.
After years of abuse, rapes, kidnapping and court trauma, and now more violence, betrayal and therapist exploitation, I identify with the character of the Vietnamese woman portrayed in the movie, 'Casualties of War' starring Michael Fox and Sean Penn. A group of American soldiers invades a Vietnamese village and capture a young woman. They gang rape her and force her to march with them on their patrol. When they were 'finished with her,' they shot her and threw her over an embankment.
WALL OF SHAME: Abusers Support Abusers
"A victim's first scream is for help; a victim's second scream is for justice."
- Coral Anika Theill
In America there are many victims of childhood molestation and abuse, rape and domestic violence! But guess what: There are relatively few batterers and perpetrators.
In their efforts to seek safety, justice and vindication, victims often become further victimized by our judicial system. Why? The batterers and abusers are “innocent” and protected by family, friends, co-workers and church members. Often family and friends turn against the victim in order to protect the abuser and their own reputations.
While many people focus their outrage on the judicial system alone, it’s easy to lose sight of broader problems that assist in the culture of abuse—like churches, pastors, family members and the local community. These elements, too, played a role in the corruption and silence that has allowed a man like my ex-husband, Marty Warner, of Independence, Oregon, and others like him, to operate untouched for so long.
In her book, Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman writes, “It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of the pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering. . . .
“In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator's first line of defense. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure that no one listens."
What I learned through these past few decades is that domestic violence, rape, child abuse and child sexual molestation is socially acceptable in our society and often in many church settings. This needs to change!
The hostile, brutalist Christians involved in my divorce reminds me of the old adage,
“Some people are so heavenly conscious, they are no earthly good.”
Pastors, ministries, churches and individuals supported my abuser, Marty Warner, by condoning rape, domestic violence, coercive control, mental and verbal abuse, spiritual & ritual abuse, child abuse, rape and molestation and ongoing court abuse and legal stalking.
"When courts blame victims and fail to hold abusers accountable, they reinforce abuser behavior, subvert justice, disempower the victims, teach children that abusive behavior is permissible and may even be rewarded, and reinforce the cycle of violence. Most batterers know they can bring criminal and contempt charges at no expense to the abusers, but they take an enormous financial and emotional cost on their victims. The result is that many abusive men drag on the litigation and file spurious claims openly acknowledging they are trying to drive their victims onto welfare or into homelessness; half of all homeless women and children in the U.S. are homeless because of domestic violence." - Joan Zorza, Esq., Batterer Manipulation and Retaliation Denial and Complicity In the Family Courts
The courts are an extension of our patriarchal heritage that views women as less valuable than men.
L to R: Bernie Warner, Tillamook, OR, Ed Warner, Harrington, WA, Peggy Warner, Snohomish, WA, Helen Warner (deceased, Ridgefield, WA), Marty Warner, Indepenence, OR, [Coral Theill's ex-husband] Donna [Warner] Bronkhorst, Snohomish, WA, Steve Warner, Everett, WA, Dennis Warner, Snohomish, WA, & Ray Warner, Vancouver, WA. My ex-husband's mother and brothers and sisters who have supported Marty Warner's decades of abuse of me [Coral Anika Theill, aka Kathy (Hall) Warner], before and after the court proceedings. They assisted him in brainwashing my eight children to hate and despise me, their mother.
The Warner family proudly wears a T-shirt that simply states, “You messing with me–you’re messing with the whole family.” My attorneys commented to me that they had never seen a group of such hateful looking people as the Warner family. I am thankful that looks do not kill. Helen Warner's testimony was shocking, but consistent with who she is and her belief system. Her lies are her version of the truth.
In his written opinion and in court, Judge Norblad described my ex-husband, Marty Warner, as a "control-freak," and a "stable man." I have since learned that stable in court, means non-emotional, non-feeling. In that sense, the judges' words are true.
Judge Norblad felt comfortable with having Helen Warner, my abusive mother-in-law; assume the role of caretaker in our home. Mrs. Warner was in her 70's. She did not have to take any mental or physical exams. To Zachary, my infant son, Helen Warner, was a stranger. Zachary had never spent time with her. My daughters and her own children had been violently sexually abused under "her care and supervision."
The five individuals, Mr. Marty Warner, Mr. Bill Heard, Mr. Brian King, Mrs. Helen Warner and Ms. Betsy Close, who were so adamant about my rights of motherhood being removed from me, were also pro-life and “Right-to-Life” activists and legalistic fundamental Christians. I found this ironic and hypocritical! (Fr. Oregon State Senator Betsy Close was a founding member of Options Pregnancy Care Centers, a private non-profit group in Corvallis, Oregon. Marty Warner was a representative for Oregon Right to Life).
“Most “pro-life” positions are not really pro-life; they are no-choice. Their positions are designed to protect traditional gender roles and patriarchal institutions and, specifically, institutional religion. The Catholic Bishops and Southern Baptist Convention—both leaders in the charge against reproductive rights-- represent traditions in which male “headship” and control of female fertility have long been tools of competition for money and power. They use moral language to advance goals that have little to do with the wellbeing of women or children or the sacred web of life that sustains us all.
My ex-husband, Marty Warner, also abused co-workers and women in the workplace. *Read Affidavit filed in December 2003 for a court hearing by Debbie Custis.
April 20, 2015, Personal comment by Debbie Custis: "This truly happened to this beautiful, wonderful woman and mother, Coral Anika Theill, aka Kathy Warner. I can never fully explain to all of you how horrendous this was. Not only did I try to help Coral, her husband was my supervisor at the time and I was battling my own personal hell with Marty Warner in the work place. He was a disgusting, sexist man, who had no business supervising women in any capacity. He tried/did talk to me "privately" about Coral (captive audience) and my heart ached for her. I didn't even know her at the time and I was sickened for her. I only had to deal with him at work, she had to live with him in her own personal prison!! "It's hard for me to revisit in my mind and memories working for him [Marty Warner]. I was stressed, anxious, and depressed all the time. I don't know how Coral has survived his lies, abuse, sick ideologies, losing her children (yes, I delivered the girls into his hands when she lost her court case, and still remember the screaming and crying coming from my back seat when they were pulled away from their mother). I salute you Coral, want nothing but happiness for you, and grew to love you very much. Please Father God, bless this woman!"
Pastor Ron & Marijo Sutter, Bridgeport Community Chapel, Monmouth, Oregon
Used by Permission: Polk County Itemizer Observer
“Mr. Warner is a great father.” - Mrs. Marijo Sutter (Mrs. Marijo Sutters made this statement after meeting my abusive a few months before her interview with my custody evaluator.
Pastor Ron & Mary Jo Sutter have supported my abusive ex-husband before and after my divorce. The church members were instrumental in assisting my ex-husband brainwash my children to hate and despise me. Several church members attended our divorce hearings in support of my ex-husband. When I had a restraining order against my husband in December 1995, my husband stayed with Pastor Ron & Marijo Sutter and Elder Brian & Kathy King, Independence, Oregon.
Pastor Sutter and Elder Brian King assisted my ex-husband in covering up crimes of violence and child sexual rape/molestation in our home, which is against the law. To date, they have suffered no repercussions. Elder Brian & Kathy King, Independence, Oregon, violated the conditions of the restraining order and charged me for their attorney fees.
When Elder Brian King, Bridgeport Community Church, found out I was seeking a legal separation, he said, "Kathy, [Coral] are you aware of the sexual temptation you will put your husband through if you go through with this?" His question traumatized me as I reflected on my role as Mr. Warner's wife for the past twenty years. It also aroused my fears for my daughters.
Pastor Bill & Linda Heard, Roseburg, Oregon, unlicensed counselors for Bill Gothard Institute
During the period of my breakdown/depression in the spring of 1994, my husband and his pastors left me at the “Wings of Love” half-way house on Killingsworth in Portland, Oregon to punish me and break me to the “will of God” they said. The house was a shelter for ex-cons, street people and prostitutes. It was filthy and was infested with rats and lice. Three months earlier, I had a D & C, due to my 3rd miscarriage, from being raped by my husband.
During the time of my breakdown/collapse in 1993-1994, while I suffered post partum depression and a stroke after the birth of my 7th child, I was also counseled by a man named Bill Heard, from Roseburg, Oregon, early in 1994. My husband related to him well. Mr. Bill Heard is an assistant pastor of Covenant Life Fellowship in Roseburg, Oregon. Phone: 541-673-5234, E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org, Address: 1553 NE Vine St, Roseburg, OR 97470 Pastor Bill Heard is accountable to Pastor Tommy Hill at email: email@example.com Sovereign Grace Churches
During the years of 1993-1994 I was beaten, raped, impregnated by my husband and told I was cursed by God by my husband and his pastors, friends and family members. He enlisted my children to also curse and abuse me. I was nearly catatonic during this time.
Mr. Heard and Mr. Warner hold many similar viewpoints in common, i.e. oppression of women, patriarchal religion, etc. Mr. Heard had served time in jail, his children had been in trouble with the law, and his wife, Linda, had all the outside appearances of an oppressed and abused woman. (She assisted him in his counseling.) He had no license to counsel, but was a member of the local church, who had ordained him as a pastor.
He reminded me of my husband. He told me God used woman like me as a public and living example of what God does to women who are self-sufficient and disobedient. He told me that I was in spiritual confusion because I am in sin. He said, “If you would just repent, you could be well again.”
My husband, Marty Warner, took notes from his conversations with Bill Heard. He wrote in January 1994: “Bill says Kathy [Coral] is choosing her behavior, she is in rebellion and does not trust Yah, (Mr. Warner’s word for God.) Kathy has a proud and critical spirit. Bill believes she should be in a residential treatment center or mental hospital." (I believe if we lived in a different era, they would have sentenced me to burn at the stake.) Bill Heard would later testify in court in support of my husband when I finally got the courage and strength to leave this marriage.
I spent many nights on my knees in front of this man repenting to him and my former husband. They made fun of my body and kept comparing me to a fearful horse. I was in shock and fear of these two very oppressive and sick men. They made sure I understood what my sins and shortcomings were by quoting Bible verses from a thick Christian Scriptural workbook that listed my sins in detail and the scripture verses. This book explained in great length all the things I had done wrong. Everything was my fault. I often felt suicidal after counseling sessions with this man.
After the birth of my 8th child, Zachary, in July 1995, I refused to attend my husband’s cults. Mr. Warner continued to bring his religious counselor, Mr. Bill Heard, in our home to work on my mind. After one counseling session, Mr. Warner became violent with me because I had mentioned to his counselor that I was often violated by Mr. Warner’s lack of sexual restraint. My personal boundaries had never been respected in my home. As far as Mr. Warner was concerned, I had none.
Mr. Heard and my husband said I was in rebellion and threatened to put me in the state mental hospital. There was nothing wrong with me. I called my long term friend and adopted mother, Addie Archer, in Longview, Washington. She worked as a court reporter for the Superior Court of Washington State for 25 years and personally assisted me in my efforts to seek safety in 1995. Her legal advice through the years of my court trauma was invaluable.
I refused to submit to Mr. Bill Heard and my husband’s brainwashing tactics. They were free to partake in "Kool-Aid drinking" together, but I did not want to participate. Although freedom of religion is a right each citizen has in this country, religious freedom was not a right I had in the confines of my own home. The accusations of not being a submissive wife continued and again I was being threatened.
Before I moved and went into hiding, one of my older daughters was still very angry towards me. She would take out her rage on the younger children by hitting, kicking, biting and smothering them. This frightened my younger children. They continued to share their fear of returning to the home when their older sister was in charge. I spoke with Mr. Warner about this and he said, “Theresa is getting help from Mr. Bill Heard in Roseburg. When my friend, Debbie Dresler heard this, she stated to me, “Kathy [Coral] you must try to help Theresa protect herself around these sick men.” Theresa did not welcome me in her life. I am helpless in protecting her or any of the children anymore.
Spiritual abuse is the use of spiritual knowledge to deprive, torture, degrade, isolate, control, or (in rare and extreme cases) even kill others. It is used by evil-minded church and cult leaders, to gain advantage, dominate, or exercise control over others. The type of trauma individuals experience from cults and their leaders is similar to that described by POW’s. The trauma experienced by cult members results from being powerless and abused day after day, year after year, whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually – souls are literally emaciated. The Word of God is used like a thrust of a knife, constantly reminding the cult member (victim) of God’s displeasure and eternal damnation.
Pastor Bill Heard assisted my ex-husband in covering up crimes of violence, rape and child sexual/molestation/rape in our home, which is against the law. To date, Pastor Heard has suffered no repercussions. He continues to abuse women through his ministry.
Mr. John Benson, an attorney working on my case in Mr. Gearings’ office, stated, "Kathy, (Coral) you need a criminal lawyer not a divorce attorney. By legal definition, Mr. Warner could be charged with ten counts of kidnapping."
After questioning Mr. Bill Heard, one of the religious counselors my husband had taken me to during my breakdown, my attorney, Mr. David Gearing, commented that I could have died under the "care" of these unqualified counselors. He spoke the truth.
“In a study of battered women, Bowker (1983) found that they ranked clergy members as the least helpful of those to whom they had turned for assistance. The emphasis of some religious institutions on wives’ responsibility “to obey their husbands” and the sinfulness of women’s refusal to have sexual intercourse with their husbands, perpetuate the problem of marital rape. Most researchers of marital rape agree that rape in marriage is an act of violence - an abuse of power by which a husband attempts to establish dominance and control over this wife. While the research thus far reveals no composite picture of a husband-rapist, these men are often portrayed as jealous, domineering individuals who feel a sense of entitlement to have sex with their “property.” - Dr. Raquel Bergen, Marital Rape
Photo: "Wings of Love" Half way house, Killingsworth, Portland, Oregon
When my attorney, Mr. David Gearing, questioned my brother, Don Hall, on the witness stand about visiting me in the spring of 1994 at the “Wings of Love” half-way house, my brother wept as he explained the dangerous and filthy living situation in which I was left while too ill to take care of myself.
In Faith Ministries: Four of my abusers work for In Faith Ministries, Sarah & Ben Bobeda (my daughter and son-in-law), and Pastor Steve & Kay Dixon. Director Ridge Burns dismissed me and ignored my concerns that his employees condone crimes of D.V., rape, child abuse, molestation and rape. After hearing about the abuse my children and I suffered from his employees, he said he had no concerns and that these four employees were some of his finest Christian workers. As of June 30, 2016, he said in a brief phone conversation that he does not agree with MY ACCESSMENT of my story." *Please review: Addressing Our Patriarchal Violence Accepting Society
You are welcome to contact Ridge Burns, a patriarchal violence accepting ministry director at 610.527.4439 He informed me that he has a Ph.D. and is well informed about D.V. and rape and child abuse/molestation issues.
Hate is Not a Family Value
Director Ridge Burns, In Faith Ministries
InFaith has a simple mission: we want to enable people, empowered by the Spirit, to love others because Jesus first loved them. It’s that simple. We have people all across this nation reaching their local communities on a mission to testify about Jesus.
Pastor Steve & Kay Dixon, Salem, Oregon, Directors of Camp of the Risen Son, Salem, Oregon and also employed with In Faith Ministries. “Coral, You have torn your home down with your own hands.” - Kay Dixon
(Pastor Steve & Kay Dixon condone domestic violence, rape, marital rape, child abuse and molestation/rape as well as blaming and SHAMING victims.)
After my divorce, many of Mr. Warner’s Christian friends and supporters called me and told me, “Coral, you are going to hell.” Mrs. Kay Dixon, a pastor’s wife in Salem, Oregon, and one of my daughter’s former teachers, phoned me, “Coral, you have torn your home down with your hands. You need to get away from your evil Jewish psychiatrist.” I was repulsed by her arrogance and anti-Semitic comments and told her I was going to hang up. Kay & Steve Dixon, and my oldest twin daughter, Sarah (Warner) Bobeda and her husband, Ben Bobeda are camp directors of Camp of the Risen Son, Salem, Oregon, a ministry of In Faith Ministries.
“Despite the documentation of the breadth of this problem [domestic violence] it remains a “myth” to many pastors. Although 40 percent of battered women report that they first went to their pastors for help, most pastors deny the existence of violence among members of their congregation. The “absence” of the problem represents the failure of the minister to acknowledge its existence and his or her willingness to address it.”
—Judith Herman, M.D.
Sarah [Warner] & Ben Bobeda, Salem, Oregon, Camp directors of Camp of the Risen Son, Salem, Oregon, a ministry of In Faith Ministries. Ben Bobeda is President of "The Gate" ministry for youth in Monmouth, Oregon.The Camp takes place at the Drift Creek Camp facility outside of Lincoln City, OR. All four of these individuals supported my abuser, Marty Warner, by condoning rape, domestic violence, child abuse and molestation and court abuse.
Sarah & Ben Bobeda attended court hearings in support of my abusive ex-husband, Marty Warner, while I was homeless and living out of my car. I was sued for more child support. They did not speak to me. I only heard from them in 2001 to tell me I was not invited to their wedding nor welcome.
"Jesse White, your judgmental comments are a blatant reminder to me of "why domestic violence is socially acceptable in America." You are NO FRIEND to domestic violence, rape and child abuse victims.
"It grieves me that you are professing to support women in abusive situations, except for your mother in law - me.
"I have a name, I have a face. I invite you to enter my personal holocaust because someday you will need to face the truth. Truth is not something you are seeking at this time, as your posted comment dismisses “me” as a fellow human being. Your writing these comments and accusing me of being a liar without ever having met me, talked to me or written me personally are signs of a COWARD.
Bill Gothard, founder of the conservative Christian nonprofit Institute for Basic Life Principles, resigned from leadership after allegations of rampant sexual harassment.
My husband counseled over the phone with Mr. Jim Logan, a man who specialized in counseling in matters regarding demon possession. He suggested my husband take me to the Bill Gothard Indianapolis training center in Indiana. A few months later, in September of 1994, my husband took me by plane to the training center for counseling and reprimand. This "Christian" training center is run by Mr. Bill Gothard of Basic Youth Conflicts.
Once again, at the Bill Gothard Training Institute, I was told how I had not learned to submit to my husband and religious "authorities" and that God was punishing me because of my rebellious spirit. I was accused of witchcraft and they tried, through prayer and exorcism, to cast demons out of me on a daily basis. I was watched by 16 to 18 year old girls who worked for the institute. During the day I scrubbed floors, cleaned toilets and made beds in their hotel. I remember looking at myself in the mirror, touching my reflection and saying, "Kathy all gone, Kathy all gone." She was. I could not relate to the vindictive, punishing God they kept preaching at me. Listening to them preach shame, fear, and guilt was not healing to my fragile mind and body.
I experienced horrendous abuses under Bill Gothard's "re-education" techniques which were thrust upon me Gothard's avid supporters and disciples, my husband, Marty Warner and Pastor Bill Heard. Although Gothard is now yesterday’s news, his victims languish on, sometimes taking years to recover from the ritual abuse and trauma inflicted on them.
Judith Herman, author of Trauma & Recovery, maintains that the function of domestic violence is to preserve male supremacy. “Perpetrators understand intuitively that the purpose of their behavior is to put women in their place and that their behavior will be condoned by other men [women] as long as the victim is a legitimate target. Thus, women live with a fear of men which pervades all of life and which convinces women that their weakness is innate and unchangeable."
I have concluded by my present circumstances, that the judicial and religious organizations and people who have aided my former husband, Marty Warner, all embrace the same views regarding women and children. They believe male power is absolute over women and great harm will come to those who question and/or defy that power. I believe this is the mentality that causes and perpetuates abuse. (Learn more about the danger of Dominionist Christian ideology and practices.)
I believe my ex-husband and his religious supporters were calloused to my well-being because my well-being is not compatible with their idea of sex – possession, power, control, manipulation, and ego gratification. Their patriarchal God condones kidnapping and rape: Numbers 31:17, 18, Deuteronomy 20:13, 14
Anyone who denies a woman’s (or a child’s) right to be safe, especially when that denial is cloaked in a paternalistic and legalistic religious dogma, contributes to the prevalence of the abuse. The pastors, Christians and ministries who have supported my abusive ex-husband are brutalist Christians and the reason I pray, “Jesus, protect me from your followers.” Many of us wonder what makes legalistic fundamental Christians so mean. They fail to recognize the severe and far-reaching consequences of domestic violence to our society, and that women in situations like mine will have to prepare for the worst.
Patriarchy [Christianity] continues to encourage a fear-based authoritarian structure that has segregated people into positions of superiority or inferiority. This type of tyranny prohibits personal empowerment and demands unquestioning obedience and submission. Many people believe the judicial system in America is structured in the same manner as the patriarchal church system.
Albert Einstein spoke profoundly when he said, "The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the level of thinking that created them."
Society accepted the circumstances that I and thousands of mothers have been forced to survive as normal. Some individuals who have deep legalistic religious persuasion believe that the cruelty and injustices I have experienced are God’s way of punishing me for seeking safety and divorcing my abusive ex-husband.
Vengeful Father Syndrome by Melissa Barnett
What is an Abuser? by Janie Brooks McQueen, author of Abuser: Defined and The Motherless Project "Someone who wants to forcefully and without reason take a mother’s children and deny her the ability to parent the children to whom she gave birth, and deny the children of the mother they need, because they want to control, have a vindictive spirit, or merely to banish the ex because she is in the way, with blatant disregard for the well-being of her and her children–is an abuser."