#METOO City of Monmouth Oregon Condones Rape, Domestic Violence & Child Abuse: Protecting Marty
Dear Mayor Milligan, Councilor Steinke, Councilor Shinkle, Councilor Silbernagel, Councilor Carey, Councilor Johnson, Councilor Sharmer, City of Monmouth Employees, Polk County Commissioner Mike Ainsworth, Polk County Commissioner Craig Pope, Polk County Commissioner Jennifer Wheeler, City of Monmouth/Independence Chamber of Commerce and Concerned Citizens,
My name is Coral Anika Theill, aka Kathryn Y. (Hall) Warner. I lived in Oregon from 1976-1996 until I sought safety and a divorce from my abusive husband, Mr. Marty Warner, an employee for the City of Monmouth, Public Works, 401 Hogan Road, Monmouth OR 97361.
I am a victim of domestic violence, rape, legal stalking, ritual and financial abuse by Mr. Marty Warner. During my marriage I was required to be a "helpmeet" in a world like the one from Margaret Atwood's dystopian novel "The Handmaiden’s Tale" and Duggar cult. My abuser, Mr. Warner, used coercive control, isolation and intimidation tactics to strip me of my personhood, safety and freedoms as a United States citizen.
My case history has been documented by numerous professionals and advocates as one of Oregon's most obscene and violent domestic violence and rape cases. I have copies of all court audio and video tapes - 50 court hearings to date (1995-2018), 45 hours of abusive deposition tapes, all affidavits and medical report to substantiate my published memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark and story.
Since 1997, Dr. Barbara May has assisted me in my recovery from the long term abuse I suffered from Mr. Marty Warner. She has also been been involved in the Polk County court cases. She wrote: "I recommend this book [BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark] for health care providers, those in the criminal justice system, and volunteers or helpers of any kind to get insights and clarity about the complex dynamics of domestic violence and its toxic effects to individuals and society-and what needs to be done to eradicate this pandemic problem." – Barbara A. May, PhD, RN PMHP, Professor Emerita of Nursing, Linfield College, Portland, Oregon
In 1995, while pregnant with my eighth child, my trusted physician and OBGyn, Dr. Charles South, Albany, Oregon, recommended I seek safety and a divorce before I became a "statistic." Dr. Jean Furchner interviewed Dr. Charles D. South, my obstetrician. Her report states: "I spoke with Charles D. South, M.D., who is OB/Gyn who delivered the twins and has seen Kathy through several of her deliveries. He said she had a very difficult time at the last delivery, with Zachary, hemorrhaging and in distress; the doctor wanted to start the IV and other therapy and was opposed by Mr. Warner; he said he finally had to intervene and begin the treatment because the patient was in real trouble. He comments that he has come to see this patient as mentally abused in the marriage."
After the birth of my eighth child in July 1995, I followed my doctor's advice, retained an attorney, reported crimes committed in our home and filed for a divorce.
My intent in sharing my story with you is an effort to reclaim dignity, equality and honor, not only for myself, but for everyone. My story exposes the dark side of human nature when all people are not valued.
This OPEN LETTER is written in honor of the #METOO movement. I believe it is important for your to read the information I am sharing with you so you can be informed of the acts and crimes of rape and violence that occurred in your own community.
Sadly, your community, church leaders, ministries, my ex-husband's family, in-laws and our children have enabled and assisted my abuser/rapist personally and in the courtroom.
"The work of movements like #MeToo is crucial, and it must continue. Ending violence, rape, sexual assault, and sexual harassment, and combating the stigma and victim-blaming that survivors of these crimes face, are vital tasks that are far from complete." *READ related article: ROB PORTER - The White House Thinks Americans Don’t Care About Domestic Violence
Tolerance of partner abuse and sexual violence remains a widespread problem in our society, the workplace, judicial systems and religious institutions.
It is terrible for everybody when the truth does not come out.
It is terrible for SOME when it does.
I lived at 8700 Fruit Farm Rd., Independence, Oregon, from 1992 until my escape from my abuser, Mr. Marty Warner in 1996. I have lived under a state address protection program from my ex-husband, Mr. Marty Warner since 1999 (to date).
When I sought safety for my children and myself in January 1996, the Court allowed me to live in hiding with my young children prior to the court hearings, due to the testimony and affidavits of numerous witnesses. Belts, fists, logs, fraternity boards, threats, coercive control, gaslighting, cults and bullying were my ex-husband's favorite weapons of choice. My ex-husband also abused numerous women in the workplace. Affidavits and court testimony supporting these facts are filed in our Polk County case file. Our son, Aaron Warner, Hillsboro, Oregon, testified at the April 2018 Polk County court hearing that he had been brutally beaten by his father, Mr. Marty Warner.
This article/letter has already gone viral due to postings on social media and websites. Polk County Commissioner Mike Ainsworth, City of Monmouth Manager Scott McClure and City of Monmouth Human Resources were already aware of the details of this letter a few years ago, but obviously did not believe me or did not care.
One of the greatest indignities a person can inflict on another is telling people who have suffered excruciating pain and loss that their pain and loss were illusions.
Mr. Marty Warner's personal justification for his abusive behavior toward me came from Biblical scripture and was akin to terrorism and hostage-taking: sexual coercion, financial restrictions, verbal and physical abuse, isolation from friends and family, denigration, controlling my decisions, whereabouts, education, and prohibiting me from working outside the home.
During the years of our marriage, fear of my husband, his religious leaders and religious authorities was branded in my mind. The quiet still voice inside of me reminded me that something was very wrong. I felt alarmed, but there was nowhere to go and no one to tell. Several years of severe mental and physical abuse left my senses blunted; everything became blurred. The instincts of self-preservation, of self-defense, of pride, deserted me.
He took away my right to my own spiritual beliefs and practice, forced me to work long hours within the home (often without sleep), forbid the use of contraceptives, invaded my privacy (he read all my incoming and outgoing mail), forbid me to see my own physician and denied me medical care. In 1987 he forced me to have sex while I was blind and impregnated me against the recommendations of my physicians (See medical records: Casey Eye Institute, Dr. Larry Rich).
My husband raped and impregnated me in 1994, while I was suffering a post-partum depression and breakdown and living away from the home. I became pregnant with our eighth child in the fall of 1994 while I was nearly catatonic and unable to shower, dress or feed myself. Mr. Marty Warner beat me while I was pregnant with my 8th child. I landed in the hallway with our 10 year old daughter, Theresa, watching. Mr. Warner yelled at me and said, "Look at what you are doing to our children."
The rapes I suffered by Marty Warner were a subject of ridicule in a court hearing in March 1996. Both Judge Norblad and Marty Warner laughed outloud about the rapes I suffered. You can read the transcript here: #METOO How I Became a Brood Mare & Egg Donor for the Church & State: Judge Albin Norblad Laughs about Rape
Leaving a family system that condones domestic violence, rape, the molestation and rape of children, psychological murder, coercive control, spiritual and ritual abuse [cults] was my only safe and sane choice.
"Coercive control shares general elements with other capture or course-of-conduct crimes such as kidnapping, stalking, and harassment, including the facts that it is ongoing and its perpetrators use various means to hurt, humiliate, intimidate, exploit, isolate, and dominate their victims. Like hostages, victims of coercive control are frequently deprived of money, food, access to communication or transportation, and other survival resources even as they are cut off from family, friends, and other supports through the process of “isolation.”
"But unlike other capture crimes, coercive control is personalized, extends through social space as well as over time, and is gendered in that it relies for its impact on women’s vulnerability as women due to sexual inequality. Another difference is its aim. Men deploy coercive control to secure privileges that involve the use of time, control over material resources, access to sex, and personal service. A main means men use to establish control is the microregulation of everyday behaviors associated with stereotypic female roles, such as how women dress, cook, clean, socialize, care for their children, or perform sexually. These dynamics give coercive control a role in sexual politics that distinguishes it from all other crimes." - Dr. Evan Stark, Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life
Coral Anika Theill, with her newborn son and eighth child,
Zachary David Warner, July 1995, independence, Oregon
The price for my own safety and freedom in 1996 was an imposed, unnatural and unwanted separation from my eight children, including my nursing infant. The injustice committed against me is not just the physical separation from my children, but the willful desecration of the mother-child relationship and bond, a sacred spiritual and emotional entity. Losing one’s children via family court causes inconsolable grief and a lifetime of psychic shock. Understanding the correlation between our patriarchal society and patriarchal court system has assisted me in my survival.
Portland Oregon University Professor Jack C. Straton wrote this profound article about violent fathers that is pertinent to my own abusive marriage: What is Fair for Children of Abusive Men? He writes: "How can we hope to bring true civilization into our lives when each day children are taught aggression and brutality as the means to power?"
The most heartbreaking aspect of narcissistic abuse is that after escaping the most torturous, malicious and damaging abuse, all you want to do is recover, pick up the pieces of your shattered life and move forward. This is when the most intensive campaign is launched by the abuser. You find yourself being re victimized by the system and by the abuser's enablers and "flying monkeys." Instead of getting understanding and sympathy, you get further beaten down. No victim is fully prepared for this onslaught.
While I was homeless in 2004, I enrolled in college to improve my life, but was forced to leave college after a couple terms due to my ex-husband and his attorney, Mr. J. Michael Alexander, appealing our case to the Oregon State of Appeals in 2004. I was destitute, so I had no monies for an attorney. Instead of college, I wrote my own "legal brief" in response to their appeal for $50,000 more in child support. I also received contempt orders from Mr. Warner's attorney, was sued and threatened with jail time and received a court order, signed by Judge Paula Brownhill, prohibiting me from my writing or sending my young children gifts in 2003. My crime - my 16 year old son, Joshua Warner, hugged and talked to me at his football game at Santiam Christian School.
I was not allowed to attend my brother’s funeral in 2009. The court order sought by my ex-husband and abuser, Marty Warner, denying me visitation privileges also created complications in July 2009. I was not permitted to attend my own brother’s funeral. My brother’s pastor reported that my ex-husband, Marty Warner, was attending the funeral, as well as my younger children. According to the Oregon Court Order, I could be arrested for attending the funeral due to being in the same vicinity of my younger children—a violation of Judge Paula Brownhill’s court orders. I emailed the pastor my eulogy for my brother’s service.
When my children were young, Mr. Marty Warner would often arrange visitation for the children and me and tell the children that their mother was coming to see them. This was a lie because Mr. Warner knew I had no visitation privileges (since 1999 due to me living under an address protection program from him) and would be arrested if I arrived to see them. This caused my children to feel betrayed by me.
My ex-husband, Marty Warner, his pastors, family, friends and school teachers alienated my children from me - telling my children and the community various lies - that I abandoned them, was living in a mental hospital, joined a biker gang and/or committed suicide. Sadly, my children and in-laws have supported my ex-husband's further abuse of me personally and in the courtroom. Several of them have sent me hate mail. For 15 years Marty Warner lied to his friend, Glen Schmauder, telling him that I was committed and living in a mental hospital. *Read Glen Schmauder's Affidavit here. Glen Schmauder's Affidavit is filed in the Polk County court file.
The men who would destroy women are not necessarily destroying only the mothers, their intent is to destroy the child. The mother is but a tool in this quest. He must destroy her to break the connection and reeducate the child into a likeness of himself, or destroy the child trying. I am an erased and alienated mother, not only from my eight children but also from my grandchildren.
While I was living out of my car, I received this letter/email from my daughter. Here is an excerpt:
"Satan desires to destroy you, Mom, and he loves what you are doing for him.
He’ll continue using you as a vessel and when he’s through with you he’ll tear
you down and throw you away. I grieve that things are this way but you are
a discouragement to me and I don’t want to hear from you until you have
changed. PS Don’t ever think badly of my father. You don't know what the
situation is here. Sincerely, Theresa (Warner) Arnold, Dallas, Oregon
While excluding me from their weddings, my children were quite comfortable inviting my mother and grandmother who sex trafficked me and abused me for years when I was a child. My children were comfortable inviting rapists, abusers and an Oregon Sex Offender to their weddings. I have also been shunned by my in-laws. (i.e, Coach Jeff and Jodi McKay, Corban University) Why?
My son-in-law, Jesse White, does not believe my ex-husband, Mr. Marty Warner, abused me or my children.
Mr. White has never spoken to me, contacted me, or met me. He showed up in the family picture a decade after the abuse in the family occurred. I was not invited to their wedding in 2001. In July 2007 he posted numerous comments at a newspapers comment section informing the editor that the abuse that I detailed in my published memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark, was made up. Jesse White wrote on July 17, 2007, "As for Mr. Warner, I do not believe I have met a man that has influenced more people in a positive manner." ABUSERS SUPPORT ABUSERS. You can read Letters to my Son-in-law, Jesse White, that were published in my 2013 memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark.
Public Works, City of Monmouth employee, Mr. Marty Warner is a pathological liar. In court, April 2018, he accused me of being "dangerous and mentally ill." I have not been in his life since 1996 and passed six psychological exams [many of them four hours in length) to prove my mental wellness to the court. As a survivor and advocate for trauma victims and wounded warriors, I have earned the respect of clinical therapists, advocates, professors and authors.
A few years ago I received a call from my editor in Monmouth, Oregon. My ex-husband had told fellow church members that I had committed suicide.
You are welcome to read details about the 50th court hearing I attended at Polk County Court case. The March 2018 letter my editor wrote my 8 children regarding the injustices of the upcoming April 2018 court hearing is included in this article. Rapist Sues Rape Victim for Child Support: Marty Warner, Independence, Oregon
My children and in-laws (Aaron Warner, Hillsboro, Oregon, Sarah (Warner) Bobeda, Monmouth Oregon, InFaith Ministries, and Joshua and Annie Warner, Aumsville, Oregon, Baseball Northwest) were present at the April 2018 Polk County court hearing in support of Mr. Marty Warner suing me for more child support. My children are 23 years old to 40 years old. My son, Aaron Warner, composed a vile, obscene hate letter addressed to me (his mother) and asked the judge to read his letter outloud in court. The letter was filled with lies . My son raped my younger daughters and was an Oregon Sex Offender for 11 years due to me reporting the crimes that were committed in our home. Marty Warner thanked Aaron for his obscene letter and continued with his own statement of lies. I assisted my son financially in the amount of $15,000 until I became homeless in 2003 and lived out of my car for 3 years. My son, Aaron Warner, an Oregon Sex Offender, was allowed to see my children any time - even my daughters he had raped, but I was allowed no contact with my children - the mother who reported the crimes of rape in our home. *Read: The Front Against Child Sex Abuse Expands to the Family: Josh Duggar, the Duggars, and What Every Family Should Know About Incest
Violators cannot live with the truth; survivors cannot live without it.
On May 4, 2018 my colleague and author, Donna Buiso, wrote Mayor Steve Milligan and the City of Monmouth Council members about her concerns regarding Mr. Marty Warner, a City of Monmouth, Oregon employee. She sent Mayor Milligan information about the book, RECLAMATION: A Survivor's Anthology by Survivors of Sexual Assault that featured my story about the abuse and rapes I suffered by my ex-husband, Marty Warner.
RECLAMATION: A Survivor's Anthology by Survivors of Sexual Assault was published March 1, 2018 in honor of the #METOO movement and by
the NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault and Survivor's Magazine and is available at Amazon.com
Sexual assault is an act of seizing power. Reclamation is the process of claiming power back. Within the pages that follow, survivors illustrate the multitude of ways they reclaim their bodies, identities, interests, mental balances, finances, futures, and more. Ultimately, each of these pieces highlight the reclamation of one’s own narrative.
All proceeds go to The NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault to support rape victims.
Scott McClure, City of Monmouth Manager, responded to my colleague, Donna Buiso, informing her that the City of Monmouth Attorney Lane Shetterly reviewed the court case file and said that he FOUND NOTHING THERE. In three days the City of Monmouth Attorney was able to read a 750 page court file covering 22 years and 50 court cases. Included in the court file is an Exhibit of my 320 page published memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark. *The Polk County case file includes my history of escaping my abuser & rapist, Marty Warner.
*Below are the letters from Donna Buiso, Mayor Steve Milligan and City of Monmouth Manager Scott McClure:
May 4, 2018
Dear Mayor Milligan, Councilor Steinke, Councilor Shinkle, Councilor Silbernagel, Councilor Carey, Councilor Johnson and Councilor Sharmer,
I read BONSHEA: Making Light of the Dark, by Coral Anika Theill. Her book has been used as a college text at Linfield College, Portland, Oregon, for nursing students studying domestic violence, rape, and child abuse as well as trauma recovery.
I’ve also followed her story up to the present time and understand that the man who raped her, Marty Warner, is employed by the City of Monmouth in the Public Works Department.
I do not understand how you can employ someone with Marty Warner’s level of character.
His crimes are not secret. They are public knowledge. Ms Theill has been a guest on numerous radio shows as well as public meetings, including the Rotary Club, Linfield College, etc.
I suggest you look into his history of abuse further. An abuser and rapist should not be tolerated, especially in today’s climate of awakening.
There are numerous affidavits as well as testimony documented in her memoir as well as the Polk County court file regarding his crimes of domestic violence, rape and child abuse. He also has a history of abusing women in the workplace before he was employed by the City of Monmouth. In April 2018, Mr. Warner stated in court that no one would hire him for four years, until he was employed with the City of Monmouth.
In honor of the #METOO movement, the NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault and Survivor's Magazine published Ms. Theill's story of her survival of rape in the book RECLAMATION: A Survivors Anthology by Survivors of Sexual Assault. I highly recommend you order a copy from Amazon.com.
The general public knows Mr. Warner due to the crimes he has committed. Do you know him?
I urge you to reconsider his employment.
Author and Advocate
Mayor Milligan forwarded Ms. Buiso's "letter of concern" to City of Monmouth Attorney Lane Shetterl, City of Monmouth Human Resources and City of Monmouth Manager Scott McClure.
Photo: City of Monmouth Mayor Steve Milligan
Thanks for letting us know of your concern. I will forward this on to Scott McClure, our City Manager and HR Director, as this is a personnel issue. This is not a matter Councilors can get directly involved in. Please wait for Scott to get back with you on this matter.
(City of Monmouth Mayor)
I have copied all of our current Councilors, Scott McClure and City Attorney Lane Shetterl
May 7, 2018
Your e-mail of May 4, 2018 was reviewed by our City Attorney. He reviewed applicable court records and concluded that there is no basis for the City to take any action with regard to Mr. Warner's employment with the City on the basis of this record.
Thank you for taking the time to bring this to our attention.
City of Monmouth
Before his employment with the City of Monmouth, Oregon, Mr. Warner abused and harassed women in the workplace at all previous places of employment. Mr. Marty Warner's co-worker, Debbie Custis, at Hewlett-Packard, filed her affidavit in our Polk County court file for our 2003 court hearing on my behalf. You can read the affidavit written and signed by Debbie Custis here. *You can read more letters and comments from DEBBIE CUSTIS (below).
City of Monmouth Manager SCOTT MCCLURE wrote that the City of Monmouth Attorney Lane Shetterl FOUND NOTHING THERE.
I am an author, advocate, speaker, reporter and contributing writer for Leatherneck Magazine and "Short Rations for Marines." My published memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark is used as a college text for nursing students at Linfield College, Portland, Oregon. In honor of Mother's Day 2014, the Pixel Project Survivor Stories Interviews featured my story to help raise monies for the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. My article, "Invisible Battle Scars: Confronting the Stigma Associated with PTS & TBI" is used as college curriculum at the Marine Corps University, Quantico, Virginia. My memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark is available at numerous libraries in Oregon and throughout the USA including the library and the Religious Freedom Room at the Matilda Joslyn Foundation.
My published works address abuse and trauma recovery and most recently, wounded Marines and Montford Point Marines. My writings have encouraged and inspired numerous trauma victims and wounded Marines and service members recovering from PTS and TBI.
I am a survivor of five decades of abuse---childhood sex trafficking by my own family, domestic violence, marital rape, ritual & spiritual abuse, coercive control, therapist exploitation, maternal alienation, domestic violence by proxy and nearly twenty years of “legal stalking” and judicial injustice - 50 court related hearings to date in the Polk County courts. While I was married to my abusive ex-husband, Marty Warner, Independence, Oregon, I survived 20 years of domestic violence and torture. I was a nurturing and loving mother during the years of our marriage. My married life continued the pattern of my childhood.
I was forced into eight fundamental Christian cults against my will. My experiences in my marriage, numerous Christian cults, fundamental Christian organizations and groups reinforced these experiences–isolation and emotional and mental pain would follow any questioning of others’ motives, power and control of me.
In 1984 I was shunned and forced to sit on the floor outside of the "People of Praise" cult meetings at St. Mary's Catholic Church, Corvallis, Oregon, as punishment by my husband, Marty Warner and cult leaders because I no longer wanted to participate in this dangerous cult. *You are welcome to contact Dr. Paul Hessburg, Walla Walla, Washington. He was a former member of the People of Praise cult in the 1980's and witnessed the incident of abuse. My story was cited in the National Catholic Reporter "Prospective Supreme Court nominee Judge Amy Barrett puts spotlight on People of Praise" Jul 6, 2018 by Heidi Schlumpf
"Theill describes her five years in the group's branch in Corvallis, Oregon, as a period of suffering under conservative ideology, strict gender-role divisions that emphasized women's submission, and secrecy toward outsiders. When she asked too many questions,
she was shunned and eventually left the group. "It still traumatizes me to this day," said Theill, who changed her name after leaving her husband, who initially remained in the group."
For nearly twenty years, I was married to a man who ruled his household with absolute authority. His personal justification for his behavior came from Biblical scripture. During the course of our marriage, I bore him eight children. My firstborn children were identical twin girls. I also suffered three miscarriages. I home schooled the oldest children for several years, renovated three houses, baked, canned, gardened, etc. I was treated as a possession (slave).
In the course of my marriage I was drawn, against my will, into several extreme fundamental churches and cults which emphasized patriarchal authority, the extreme oppression of women and children and the obedience of women, i.e., Mr. Bill Gothard of Basic Youth Conflicts, Catholicism, People of Praise Catholic Charismatic Covenant Community, Corvallis Christian Center, Assembly of God and Pentecostal Churches, The Sacred Name Movement*, The Yahweh Movement,* “The Quiverfull Movement,” NW Hills Baptist Church, Bridgeport Community Church, Marion Church of God Seventh Day, and Mr. Warner’s own “home church.”
*My former husband, Marty Warner, purchased a Hewlett Packard printer and shipped the printer from Corvallis, Oregon to Africa for a Yahweh cult to publish a new Bible for the world. The new Bible did not include the words "God" or "Jesus." I saved a copy of this publication for documentation of his extreme religious views when divorcing him.
In 1995 my youngest daughters (ages 3 and 5) confided in me - they had been raped by an older sibling. My ex-husband, Marty Warner and his abusive pastors threatened me that I COULD NOT REPORT the rapes to the police. They wanted the crimes to be a FAMILY AND CHURCH SECRET. My daughters needed to see a physician. My children needed separated and professional counseling. I reported the crimes to an attorney in the fall of 1995 and to the Polk County Sheriff. My son, Aaron Warner, was arrested and was an Oregon State Sex Offender for 11 years. My ex husband, my son and the Warner family consider me an enemy because I did what was expected of me by Oregon law. I also wanted my children to receive professional help.
Please consider this fact that your CITY OF MONMOUTH employee, Marty Warner, would not AND DID NOT report crimes that were committed in his own home and has demonized me for reporting the crimes committed in our home to LAW ENFORCEMENT.
In Patriarchal Christian Movements (i.e., Dominionist, Quiverfull), women and girls are treated as property; they are NOT valued in the same way males are valued. The Duggars and the Bill Gothard cult followers use the language of Christianity but push a warped, distorted world-view that supports their own preferred power structures. They tolerate no discussion or dissent and disregard (and/or shun) anything that contradicts their point of view. Christian Dominionists, as well a many Christian politicians believe that the United States is 'one nation under "God," with the Bible and their beliefs trumping existing law and the Constitution--American's version of the Taliban.
The biggest danger in this Christian fundamental/legalistic thinking arises when sexual crimes and abuse occur. They worry about "settling the matter" with God alone (crimes become a family and church secret). Human victims are not a concern and their needs are not met. Many of these human victims are female or children and are not considered valuable or important in their paternalistic world, i.e, domestic violence and rape is socially acceptable in many church settings. Victims are blamed and shamed.
Sadly, my older children followed their father's example and were also violent and hostile toward me. Judith Herman, M.D. writes about the tendency of abused children to cling tenaciously to the very parent who hurt them. Bessel van der Kolk tells us that people subjected to trauma and neglect are vulnerable to developing the tendency to traumatically bond with those who harm them. Traumatic bonding is often behind the excuses of battered women for the violence of their partners, and for the repeated returning to a batterer."
Just as the Christian fundamentalists keep crimes private [a family matter], the courts also shelter abusers in a 'family court' system where serious crimes are "mediated" or ignored and too often women and children are blamed for reporting abuse.
Photo was titled "Family of the Year" - 2013 - Independence, OR
The Warner Family
Coral Anika Theill's eight children with their father,
Marty Warner (my abusive ex-husband)
From L to R
I have many painful memories and experiences from my 20 years of exposure to legalistic fundamental Christianity and Christian “cults,” I am comforted knowing that my soul was on a journey of remembering who I truly was. I believe we all long for freedom from oppression and bondage – that was what my spirit secretly longed for and hoped to experience. I am grateful for each brand new day and the experience of being.
Spiritual abuse is the use of spiritual knowledge to deprive, torture, degrade, isolate, control, or (in rare and extreme cases) even kill others. It is used by evil-minded church and cult leaders, to gain advantage, dominate, or exercise control over others. The type of trauma individuals experience from cults and their leaders is similar to that described by POW’s. The trauma experienced by cult members results from being powerless and abused day after day, year after year, whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually – souls are literally emaciated. The Word of God is used like a thrust of a knife, constantly reminding the cult member (victim) of God’s displeasure and eternal damnation.
"A Handmaid's Tale" is a dystopian tale of a "handmaid"- a woman basically designated to be a breeder. She is treated as property, has no real rights, and her only value to society is to make children for officials and their barren wives. After the excesses of the world created so much pollution and illness the birth rate fell drastically low, a re-forming of society occurred.
In this society, the rights of women and children were reconfigured while being told they were the ones in charge, and the patriarchy was solidified through strict, subversive control of women's status and roles. The society was structured around the lower masculine values of competition, dominance, punishment by death, demanding compliance, and people as property. This was strictly enforced through a pseudo-religious brainwashing regime, and strict control of what was said and done. Handmaids are basically slaves.
In reading this book, I noticed there are parallels between my role as wife to my ex-husband, Marty Warner, today's fundamental Christian churches [sects/cults], family court and the dystopian society in Handmaid's Tale.
If you really want to know about our justice system in America, you do not question the judges, police, attorneys and lawmakers, you go to the victims, the unprotected, the vulnerable; those who need the laws protection the most and listen to their stories. Most victims have to recover without the conscience of their communities, cultures, and countries validating their story, without justice, and without restitution. I truly believe, though, that we are victimized twice if we do not seek justice. For the past several years I have been a guest speaker at colleges, public meetings, libraries, radio and TV shows to help raise awareness about domestic violence, rape, child abuse/molestation, judicial injustice, maternal alienation and court sanctioned kidnapping.
Please review my OPEN LETTER to Oregon Governor Kate Brown, Lawmakers, Advocates & Clergy Mother of 8 Battered & Raped in the Name of 'God' written on behalf of all protective mothers and their alienated children
This past year I was interviewed by an attorney from the U.S. Department of Justice who is assisting with a documentary about abuse and legal stalking. I gave her permission to use any and all excerpts from my published memoir for their documentary project. She wrote:
"It’s good to hear from you; but not good to hear how you were treated during the [Polk County] court appearance. That was so wrong. No one should be treated that way in a court of law, a hall of justice; no one should have to experience a court process the way you have. My few words of acknowledgment feel so insignificant against the mountain of experience you have had; but know that even though my words can’t solve anything, you and your experience and feelings are acknowledged and validated here." - Rhonda Martinson, J.D. U.S. Department of Justice Documentaries, 2018
I believe your City attorney Lane Shetterl and City Manager Steve Milligan dismissed and minimized documentation that is a part of my court case history. They have dismissed my pain and suffering. I am asking for apologies and for MY GOOD NAME TO BE RESTORED.
In the past years I have been a guest speaker on numerous radio shows, at colleges and public gatherings. My published memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark has been used as a college text for nursing students studying domestic violence and trauma recovery at Linfield College, Portland, Oregon. My social media sites receive over 2 million visitors per year.
Benton County District Attorney John Haroldson introduced me at a speaking engagement in Corvallis, Oregon. He wrote: "Casting religion in a negative light, can often invite a strong reaction mixed with accusations of heresy and un-Godliness. Such reactions can have a chilling effect on those who might wish to express a negative human experience, namely domestic abuse, where religion has been used as a vehicle to enable the abuse. In BONSHEÁ, Coral Theill confronts this troublesome dynamic in an anecdotal account, which underscores the degree to which religion, and the legal system, can be used to enable systematic domestic abuse. In doing so, Coral Theill has ventured into relatively uncharted territory in a manner which may well draw detractors, but at the same time offers great validation for those who find themselves entangled in an abusive relationship buttressed with religious justification.
"In addition to broaching this form of religious distortion, BONSHEÁ also illustrates the degree to which the legal system can also be used as a vehicle to further perpetuate abuse even after the victim has chosen to take a stand against the abuse. In BONSHEÁ, Coral Theill has clearly chosen to take a courageous stand. It is a stand that comes with a cost, but whose dividends are measured in the strength of the soul." – John Haroldson, District Attorney, Benton County District Attorney's Office, Corvallis, Oregon, Five Star Review
I believe your City Attorney Lane Shetterl overlooked these documents in my Polk County court case file: HE SAID HE FOUND NOTHING THERE.
"Mr. Warner has treated Mrs. Warner [Coral Anika Theill] with gross disregard, regularly through the course of our acquaintance. Mr. Warner’s extreme religious orientations have been imposed upon Mrs. Warner throughout their marriage. Mr. Warner makes no secret of his demands for female submission at all times, and on occasion would threaten to terminate relationships with friends and acquaintances if the male in friends’ households did not subscribe to his religious beliefs to include, but not limited to female submission—socially, physically, psychologically and sexually. Mr. Warner regularly has degraded Mrs. Warner and the Warner children openly and without restraint. I believe the long-term abuse has been detrimental to the well-being of Mrs. Warner and the Warner children." -Terese Vasquez
"I accompanied Kathy to the Benton County Sheriff’s Office on the day the restraining order against Marty was being served. Kathy was obviously terrified about what his response might be. The people at the sheriff’s office front desk would be able to corroborate this, as Kathy told them she was afraid of her husband, and they offered her and baby Zachary sanctuary for the day if they needed it. Furthermore, although Kathy has the support of many people in the community, almost all of them have refused to accompany Kathy back home, or to stay with her in the Warner residence out of concern that Marty might resort to violence. I personally talked to five people who were afraid to go due to the volatility of the situation. Kathy also spoke to me about her very real fear of being made pregnant again by Marty if she returns to the home. Since she was made pregnant twice during the time of her breakdown, it seems to me a very realistic fear on her part." - Karen Lague"
My "state address protection" documents are included in the Polk County file. I have lived under City of Monmouth, Oregon employee, Mr. Marty Warner, are filed in my court file. BUT YOUR CITY of MONMOUTH ATTORNEY Lane Shetterl SAW NOTHING THERE.
Victims suffer not only from the abuse they experienced but also from the threat of meaninglessness and powerlessness that comes with it. People who experience the trauma of violence at the hand of someone they know, (i.e., a partner, parent, relative, therapist, teacher, pastor, or priest) - struggle to make meaning, usually in a context of isolation, if not moral condemnation and victim blaming.
Meanwhile, as the years pass, many victims become progressively more mentally, physically and emotionally sick because the victim has been rejected and betrayed all over again by those close to them who refuse to deal with the truth and by those who find denial an easy alternative. The burden placed on the victim's shoulders becomes unbearable. Finally, family and friends who "knew the truth" dismiss the crimes of molestation, rape and violence because "it happened a long time ago." The victim's worst nightmare has come true. If the perpetrator is “innocent,” then the victim must be guilty by default. It was their fault to begin with (they were told by their abuser). In the victim's mind, they must be both the criminal and the victim. The victim has a hard time finding where "they" are inside themselves.
Photo: Wings of Love Half-Way House, Killingsworth, Portland, Oregon. This photo is included in the Polk County court file.
"During the period of my breakdown/depression in the spring of 1994, my husband, Mr. Marty Warner, and his pastors left me at the "Wing's of Love" half-way house on Killingsworth in Portland, Oregon, to punish and "break me" (their words) to the will of God. "The house was a shelter for ex-cons, street people and prostitutes.
This is my story - I "woke up" when I was 5 months pregnant after being raped repeatedly by Marty Warner while I was nearly catatonic in 1993/1994. Vegetative Woman Who Gave Birth Was Raped Multiple Times: Report
It was filthy and infested with rats and lice. My husband’s debt-free estate, at this time, was over a quarter- of- a million dollars. It was a frightening experience during the period of my illness/breakdown for my “abuser” ex-husband, his Christian cult leaders and religious supporters to be in charge of my “recovery program.” Three months earlier, I had a D & C due to my 3rd miscarriage from being raped by my husband. I was helpless and physically and mentally incapacitated during this time due to my post partum depression/breakdown and partial stroke.
"His brutal treatment pushed my health further to the edge. While completely broken down I was ridiculed, exorcised for demons, told I was a ‘witch’ and cursed by God by my husband, his friends and family, pastors [Pastor Bill Heard, Roseburg, Oregon, and ‘Christian’ cult leaders and counselors. Pastor Bill Heard assisted my ex-husband in covering up crimes of violence, rape and child sexual/molestation/rape in our home, which is against the law. To date, Pastor Heard has suffered no repercussions. He continues to abuse women through his ministry.
"Mr. Jon Benson, an attorney working on my case in Mr. David Gearings’ office, stated, "Kathy, (Coral) you need a criminal lawyer not a divorce attorney. By legal definition, Mr. Warner could be charged with ten counts of kidnapping."- Coral Anika Theill, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark
Coral Anika Theill and U.S. Senator Jeff Merkley
"As I watch the news today, I see all sorts of other cases pretty similar to Coral Theill's. The thing that I just do not understand about our "system" is why or how can we allow what happened to Coral (and is still happening) to happen. Some are held against their will, raped, battered, abused and then glorified as are the three ladies from Ohio. Guys are considered "heroes" as a result of being the person to make a phone call to the authorities about it.
"Then we have those in the same situation (and maybe even worse) who are blamed, ostracized from society, stripped not only of their children but of their dignity, ridiculed, and even forced into hiding and receive absolutely no support from anyone in the justice system who by the way are supposed to be by the people, of the people and for the people." - Excerpt of letter from Sergeant Major Brian K. Jackson, USMC (Ret) to Mr. Joel Corcoran, U.S. Senator Jeff Merkley's assistant, May 9, 2013 ''
In an effort to promote improved laws for battered women and children, I met U.S. Senator Jeff Merkley at his office in Washington D.C. in July 2014, per the recommendation of his assistant Mr. Joel Corcoran. Mr. Corcoran (a former attorney for battered women) read my website and numerous articles that detailed my horrific experiences in Oregon's family courts. He suggested I submit a document to U.S. Senator Merkley detailing the decades of legal stalking (45 court hearings) I had been subjected to since seeking safety in 1995. Read document submitted to U.S. Senator Jeff Merkley here:
Christine Pahl wrote the "forward" to my published memoir. She worked for decades as a trauma counselor/expert for the State of Oregon and Marion County. It was a pleasure to know her. Sadly she passed away in 2017. You can read her forward in its entirety "Fight for Life" here:
"Having known Coral for approximately nine years and recently having spent a week with her, she is legitimate!!! I am continually amazed that she functions at all given what she has been through in her lifetime. What I know of Coral is she is a woman with a huge heart, capable of compassion for others, who is thoughtful, resourceful and resilient, but who has endured poverty, homelessness, abandonment and ridicule beyond imagination. Still she keeps on fighting back seeking the validation she has never received from those closest to her!!!
"How she has kept functioning all these years in the face of repeated invalidation by people and systems is beyond my comprehension and a testimony to her determination and drive. It is what keeps her alive as so many people would have crumbled long ago and retreated to a world of self-destruction. (We see it every day in mental health systems and homeless shelters.) Luckily, Coral is articulate and extremely intelligent, both assets which I have found present in trauma survivors I’ve worked with over the years who had survived enormous abuse and still functioned in society.
"The question remains whose side are we on—the victim’s or the perpetrators? I think in Coral’s documentation of what has happened to her, it is quite evident whose side the system and people of power are on.
"What frightens me is the absolute vulnerability we all have to people in power and the values and beliefs that these individuals hold which could impact every single one of us should we become prey to the system or as Judith Herman wrote “to come face to face with human vulnerability in the natural world and with the capacity for evil in human nature.”
"What happened to Coral is pure evil and a testimony to the vulnerability we all have. Whose side are we on?" - Christian Pahl, MS, LPC
I have learned that confronting abuse and violence is ugly and requires difficult self-examination.
There are not always two sides to every story. Our determination to pursue truth by setting up a fight between two sides leads us to assume that every issue has two sides--no more, no less. But if you always assume there must be an 'other side' you may end up scouring the margins of science or the fringes of lunacy to find it. This explains, in part, the bizarre phenomenon of Holocaust denial, among other denials, and that river flows through lots of courtrooms.
Your employee, Mr. Warner, is an abuser, bully batterer, rapist, child abuser, pathological liar, harasser of women in the workplace, and fundamental cultist. Your Human Resources Department in Monmouth, Oregon, has access to all this information. Mr. Marty Warner admitted in court in April 2018 that no one would hire him for four years due to the documentation in my published memoir. Your policies must have a lower bar for an abusive man like Marty Warner to have been hired by you. My mentors and counselors consider Mr. Marty Warner to be a Vengeful Father. Vengeful fathers frequently use the law and the legal system as a means of enforcing their rights and demands and for continuing to persecute their victims, both mothers and children.
In her book, Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman writes, “It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil.
"The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of the pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering . . . .
"In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator’s first line of defense. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim.
"If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure that no one listens. To this end, he marshals an impressive array of arguments, from the most blatant denial to the most sophisticated and elegant rationalization. After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same predictable apologies: it never happened; the victim lies; the victim exaggerates; the victim brought it on herself; and in any case it is time to forget the past and move on. The more powerful the perpetrator, the greater is his prerogative to name and define reality, and the more completely his arguments prevail.
“The perpetrator’s arguments prove irresistible when the bystander faces them in isolation. Without a supportive social environment, the bystander usually succumbs to the temptation to look the other way. This is true even when the victim is an idealized and valued member of society. Soldiers in every war, even those who have been regarded as heroes, complain bitterly that no one wants to know the real truth about war. When the victim is already devalued (a woman, a child), she may find that the most traumatic events in her life take place outside the realm of socially validated reality. Her experience becomes unspeakable . . .
Judith Herman, M.D. maintains that the function of domestic violence is to preserve male supremacy. “Perpetrators understand intuitively that the purpose of their behavior is to put women in their place and that their behavior will be condoned by other men [women] as long as the victim is a legitimate target. Thus, women live with a fear of men which pervades all of life and which convinces women that their weakness is innate and unchangeable. The legal system is designed to protect men from the superior power of the state but not to protect women or children from the superior power of men. It therefore provides strong guarantees for the rights of the accused but essentially no guarantees for the rights of the victim. If one set out by design to devise a system for provoking intrusive post-traumatic symptoms, one could not do better than a court of law."
"The more we believe the lies of the abusers the more we silence the truth of the abused, the less justice that will be served. Accusing victims of lying while believing the truth of the abuser is what keeps victims silent." - Katie Heartwell, Abusers And The Abusive People Who Support Them
The freedom that I gained when I broke my silence about the abuse I suffered I wouldn’t trade for anything. Once secrets are exposed to the light, they lose their power over you.
Keeping secrets only protects the abuser. Abuse does not deserve privacy. If violence cannot be talked about, it cannot be stopped. I truly believe more victims would be willing to share their pain, fear and shame if they could expect to be believed, respected and vindicated.
There are individuals mentioned in my story [including my own children] who refused to acknowledge the horrors of my survival of marital abuse and my cry for help. They became an obstacle to my basic human rights—freedom and safety. I am holding them responsible and accountable for the continued trauma I have experienced throughout the past twenty years.
Individuals who escape abuse and torture deserve the utmost respect and support. These people have risked it all to heal and stand up for the truth. These people are heroes and angels who hold a horrific reality for everyone else. They have suffered and escaped, and for that, we should bow our head in reverence and listen to their stories.