#METOO I lived the Handmaid's Tale in Independence, Oregon: Escaped OfMartin - Marty Warner in 1996
"A victim's first scream is for help; a victim's second scream is for justice."
September 23, 2019
Dear Gov. Brown, Gov. Inslee, U.S. Senators, Oregon & Washington Congresswomen and Congressmen, Law Enforcement officers, Mayors, Commissioners, Tribal Leaders, Universities, Attorneys, Therapists, Advocates, Clergy and citizens,
My name is Coral Anika Theill. I am a respected author, advocate, speaker and military reporter and an erased and alienated mother of eight. My plight for safety from horrific incidents of abuse, torture, rape and attempted murder that occurred in Oregon and Washington states from 1967 - 2019 has been traumatic to put it lightly.
After escaping the most torturous, malicious and damaging abuse, all you want to do is recover, pick up the pieces of your shattered life and move forward. This is when the most intensive campaign is launched by the abuser. You find yourself being re victimized by the system and by the abuser's enablers and "flying monkeys." Instead of getting understanding and sympathy, you get further beaten down. No victim is fully prepared for this onslaught.
I have spent long hours trying to make some sense of my life and have come to the conclusion that when horror overcomes us the only response possible is to remember what happened and tell the story. Please read my published memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark and my OPEN LETTER to Oregon Governor Kate Brown: Mother of 8 Battered & Raped in the Name of 'God' that details my plight since escaping domestic violence.
The price for my own safety and freedom in 1996 was an imposed, unnatural and unwanted separation from my eight children, including my nursing infant. The injustice committed against me is not just the physical separation from my children, but the willful desecration of the mother-child relationship and bond, a sacred spiritual and emotional entity.
Losing one’s children via family court causes inconsolable grief and a lifetime of psychic shock. Understanding the correlation between our patriarchal society and patriarchal court system has assisted me in my survival.
Although I risked everything to escape from my ex-husband, and in some ways I lost everything, I have never been more sane or more sure that the choices I made were the only choices I could make and survive.
I have a personal story of marital abuse, mental and physical, condoned within many of the fundamental, evangelical Christian movements (cults) that thrive today. My story is also about injustice, the failings of the Oregon & Washington court system, and the stigma associated with depression and post-traumatic stress. What I experienced during my childhood, in my marriage, in the churches and the court system amounts to nothing less than hate crimes with a gender bias.
There are not always two sides to every story. Our determination to pursue truth by setting up a fight between two sides leads us to assume that every issue has two sides--no more, no less. But if you always assume there must be an 'other side' you may end up scouring the margins of science or the fringes of lunacy to find it. This explains, in part, the bizarre phenomenon of Holocaust denial, among other denials, and that river flows through lots of courtrooms.
Individuals who escape abuse and torture deserve the utmost respect and support. These people have risked it all to heal and stand up for the truth. These people are heroes and angels who hold a horrific reality for everyone else. They have suffered and escaped, and for that, we should bow our head in reverence and listen to their stories.
I feel it is important to give voice to the violence and speak for those who do not have a voice and for those who are no longer with us. I wrote in my memoir, "The traumatized person who accomplishes the work of recovery and healing has the potential of becoming more integrated and more aware and conscious than the person who has endured no blatant trauma and has never had to piece together a shattered psyche."
I am sharing my story with you to give my life a voice, and to intellectually and emotionally create change. I hope after reading my story, no one will ever tell a domestic violence victim to "just leave."
I available to meet with you personally or as a guest speaker for OCTOBER DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH, APRIL SEXUAL ASSAULT AWARENESS MONTH or any other time of the year.
Leaving a family system that condones domestic violence, rape, the molestation and rape of children, psychological murder,coercive control, spiritual and ritual abuse [cults] was my only safe and sane choice.
This document shares my journey of survival as a child who was repeatedly raped and abused for years in Washington state and as a married woman surviving two decades of domestic violence, torture and rape while living in Oregon [1976-1996] and finally the brutal consequences I survived from Oregon's courts---1996 to present---when I found my voice and the courage to seek safety for myself and my children.
I have the greatest respect for women who stand up to tyranny and oppression and fight for freedom and justice. Often they battle alone, with children in tow, and with the enemy entrenched in their home, in their minds, and sleeping in their beds. These are the extreme and painful conditions under which I, and women all over the world, set out to make their escapes from domestic violence and terror. And even so, right up until today, the bravery of women's struggles for freedom is still too often met with the cruelty of questions like "Why don't you just get up and leave," instead of being given the admiration their struggles deserve.
I am a survivor of childhood sex trafficking, rape/molestation and abuse (1960's), attempted murder (2000 - Washington state), domestic violence, marital rape, spiritual abuse, and nearly twenty years of “legal stalking” - 50 court related hearings to date - and judicial injustice (1976-2019 - Oregon state - 2000 Washington state). The law and the courts failed me.
Before my marriage, I was co-valedictorian of my high school class, completed pilot training and ground school (age 17) and worked as a court reporter and legal secretary. I survived twenty years of domestic violence and have lived under a “state address protection program” since 1999 from my former husband, Marty Warner, Independence, Oregon. Since my divorce, I have worked as an artist, professional model and military reporter.
My case history in Oregon courts has been documented by physicians and advocates, including my counselor and mentor of 22 years, Barbara A. May, PhD, RN PMHP, Professor Emerita of Nursing, Linfield College, Portland, Oregon, as one of Oregon's most violent and obscene rape and domestic violence cases. While pregnant with my eighth child in 1995, my trusted physician and OBGyn, Dr. Charles South, Albany, Oregon, recommended I seek safety and a divorce before I became a "statistic.
"The accounts of rape, wife beating, forced childbearing, medical butchering, sex-motivated murder, forced prostitution, physical mutilation, sadistic psychological abuse, and other commonplaces of female experience that are excavated from the past or given by contemporary survivors should leave the heart seared, the mind in anguish, the conscience in upheaval. But they do not. "No matter how often these stories are told, with whatever clarity or eloquence, bitterness or sorrow, they might as well have been whispered in wind or written in sand: they disappear, as if they were nothing. "The tellers and the stories are ignored or ridiculed, threatened back into silence or destroyed, and the experience of female suffering is buried in cultural invisibility and contempt… the very reality of abuse sustained by women, despite its overwhelming pervasiveness and constancy, is negated. It is negated in the transactions of everyday life, and it is negated in the history books, left out, and it is negated by those who claim to care about suffering but are blind to this suffering." --Andrea Dworkin, Right Wing Woman
During my 20 year abusive marriage to Marty Warner, Independence, Oregon, I was forced against my will to participate in numerous fundamental Christian cults and suffered ritual abuse. I was sex trafficked for years as a child in Washington state by my mother in the early 60's. In August 2000, I was brutally beaten and strangled in an attempted murder incident by George D. Amiotte after he robbed, threatened and stalked me. As a disabled domestic violence and rape victim, I lived out of my car for over three years.
I have learned that confronting abuse and violence is ugly and requires difficult self-examination. Accepting collective responsibility costs more.
My ex-husband's personal justification for his abusive behavior toward me came from Biblical scripture and was akin to terrorism and hostage-taking: sexual coercion, financial restrictions, verbal and physical abuse, isolation from friends and family, denigration, controlling my decisions, whereabouts, education, and prohibiting me from working outside the home.
In 1987 he forced me to have sex while I was blind and impregnated me against my will and the recommendations of my physicians (See medical records: Casey Eye Institute, Dr. Larry Rich). My husband raped and impregnated in 1994, while I was suffering a post-partum depression and breakdown. I became pregnant with our eighth child while I was nearly catatonic and unable to shower, dress or feed myself.
Besides his engineering career with CH2M Hill, Hewlett Packard, Clair Company, Corvallis, Oregon and now with Public Works, City of Monmouth, my former husband was a graduate of Washington State University and Oregon State University, active in the Republican Party, chairman for Oregon "Right to Life," member of the Corvallis People of Praise cult and a leader in the home school movement in Corvallis, Oregon.
During the years of our marriage he was an avid follower of Rush Limbaugh, Phyllis Schlafly, Mary Pride, Bill Gothard and the Patriarchal Quiverfull movement. He professed to be a born again, "spirited filled" Christian. My husband's Christian beliefs defined my role as his wife the same way Martin Luther did in the 16th century, "Even though they [wives] grow weary and wear themselves out with child-bearing, it does not matter; let them go on bearing children TILL THEY DIE, that is what they are there for."
I was required to be a "helpmeet" in a world like the one from Margaret Atwood's dystopian novel "The Handmaid’s Tale." My abuser used coercive control, isolation and intimidation tactics to strip me of my personhood, safety and freedoms as a United States citizen.
"A Handmaid's Tale" is a dystopian tale of a "handmaid"- a woman basically designated to be a breeder. She is treated as property, has no real rights, and her only value to society is to make children for officials and their barren wives. After the excesses of the world created so much pollution and illness the birth rate fell drastically low, a re-forming of society occurred.
In this society, the rights of women and children were reconfigured while being told they were the ones in charge, and the patriarchy was solidified through strict, subversive control of women's status and roles. The society was structured around the lower masculine values of competition, dominance, and punishment.
Two hundred years ago a system of legal slavery allowed for the ownership of human beings as if they were livestock. Children were ripped away from their mothers with as little consideration as separating a calf from a cow. In this country today, extreme forms of paternalistic religion promote an institutional form of slavery where a woman must be totally obedient to a husband who has absolute control of her life. The wife’s lot is to obey and bear children. If she rebels and chooses to save herself by escaping from this life, the father—supported by the church community and often by the court system, can forcibly strip a child away from the mother.
My close friend, Oregon trauma counselor and advocate, Christine Pahl, MS, LPC, wrote the "Forward," Fight for Life, for my 2013 published memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark. She writes, "The need to tell people to “get over it” is born out of our own need to escape the reality of the evil that actually exists in this world. What happened to Coral is pure evil and a testimony to the vulnerability we all have. Whose side are we on?"
My story includes nine Oregon Circuit Court Judges, the Oregon State of Appeals, the Polk County District Attorney's Office, Deputy District Attorney John Adams, Deputy Sheriff Bernie Kruger, the Wasco County District Attorney's Office, Thurston County D.A.'s Office, the Oregon Attorney General's office, the Polk County Sheriff's Office, the Oregon Judicial Ethics Committee, the Oregon State Bar, the Oregon Medical Board, Veterans Administration, former Oregon State Senator Betsy Close, Pastor Bill Heard, Pastor Ron Sutter, Ben and Sarah Bobeda, InFaith Ministries, Pastor Steve and Kay Dixon, InFaith Ministries, Joshua and Annie Warner, Baseball Northwest, Santiam Christian School, Oregon Right to Life, Corban University, People of Praise cult, Peggy Warner, Snohomish, Washington, City of Monmouth Mayor Milligan, Kennewick Washington Police Office, Jesse White, Grande Rhonde Reservation, Dr. Charles Kuttner, George D. Amiotte, Beverly Ann Moerke, Walla Walla, Washington, the Gazette Times, Washington State Crime Victims Program, numerous attorneys, pastors, priests, church members, counselors, safe homes and physicians - all but a few turned a blind eye, perpetrating the abuse by supporting my abusers to this day.
After the birth of my eighth child in July 1995, I followed my doctor's advice, retained an attorney, reported crimes committed in our home and filed for a divorce. I am one protective mother, among millions, who sought safety from domestic violence and lost what was most precious to me - my children.
I went to Oregon's judicial system for help and was not prepared for the horrors I experienced within our legal system. I found a system which treated me deplorably as my former husband and his religious supporters. I have extensive documentation, including affidavits, court transcripts, audio tapes and videos, medical and mental reports, and witnesses to substantiate and elaborate on this story.
The treatment I received in Oregon's courts was more abuse and humiliation. Sexual crimes I endured as a child, my previous breakdown, my physical shortcomings, my fertility and the 'rape' by my husband all became subjects for ridicule in court while I was on the witness stand. Oregon Circuit Court Judge Albin Norblad laughed when he heard I became pregnant when my husband raped me. When I complained, I received a letter from the Oregon State Bar informing me that I deserved this treatment because I had suffered a previous post partum depression and collapse years earlier.
I have concluded that I am nothing more than a brood mare and egg donor for the church and state, I have no rights as a disabled person and nurturing mother, and that seeking safety from abuse and violence led to the abrupt removal of my nursing infant and children, being sued by my ex-husband, legally stalked, homelessness and poverty. Mothers and children are NOT safe in the court system.
In 1993, after surviving 16 years of multiple pregnancies, sleep deprivation, ritual, emotional, and mental abuse, coercive control, torture, rapes and physical assaults within my marriage, I suffered a physical/emotional breakdown, partial stroke and post-partum depression after the home birth of my seventh child.
While in this near catatonic state, I was again physically assaulted and raped by my husband, causing my eighth pregnancy in October 1995, despite the warnings of my doctors. His brutal treatment pushed my health further to the edge. While completely broken down I was ridiculed, exorcised for demons, told I was a ‘witch’ and cursed by God by my husband, his friends and family, and ‘Christian’ cult leaders and counselors.
Despite all this, I was able to recover, birth my baby and cherish bonding and breastfeeding. After undergoing several tests and psychiatric evaluations, my physicians stated I was completely recovered. In 1995, my OB/GYN physician, Dr. Charles D. South, Albany, Oregon, recommended I divorce my abusive husband. I followed my trusted physician’s advice.
At this point, after experiencing forty years of violence and abuse in my personal life, I had had enough. I intuitively knew that continuing this way of life would eventually kill me. I went to Oregon's courts for help and protection for myself and my children.
I initially retained an attorney in October 1995 to report crimes committed in our home against my children and to seek safety. My husband, Marty Warner, and Pastor Bill Heard, Roseburg, Oregon and Pastor Ron Sutter, Monmouth, Oregon were aware of the crimes - in their minds the crimes were to remain a "family and church secret." I was threatened not to report the crimes to the authorities.
I reported the crimes to the Polk County Sheriff, took my younger daughters to their physician and a counselor. Several months later, I lost custody and finally all contact with my children. My eldest son, a convicted Oregon Sex Offender, who raped my daughters, was allowed to see my daughters any time - I could not, per Court Order. My ex-husband and the pastors who covered up the crimes suffered no consequences.
CITY OF MONMOUTH employee, Marty Warner would not AND DID NOT report crimes that were committed in his own home and has demonized me for reporting the crimes committed in our home to LAW ENFORCEMENT.
In Patriarchal Christian Movements (i.e., Dominionist, Quiverfull), women and girls are treated as property; they are NOT valued in the same way males are valued. The Duggars and the Bill Gothard cult followers use the language of Christianity but push a warped, distorted world-view that supports their own preferred power structures. They tolerate no discussion or dissent and disregard (and/or shun) anything that contradicts their point of view. Christian Dominionists, as well a many Christian politicians believe that the United States is 'one nation under "God," with the Bible and their beliefs trumping existing law and the Constitution--American's version of the Taliban.
The greatest danger in Christian fundamental/legalistic thinking arises when sexual crimes and abuse occur. They worry about "settling the matter" with God alone (crimes become a family and church secret). Human victims are not a concern and their needs are not met. Many of these human victims are female or children and are not considered valuable or important in their paternalistic world, i.e, domestic violence and rape is socially acceptable in many church settings. Victims are blamed and shamed.
Photo was titled "Family of the Year"
Coral Anika Theill's eight children with their
father, Marty Warner (my abusive ex-husband),
Independence, Oregon, 2013
Sadly, my older children followed their father's example and were also violent and hostile toward me. Judith Herman, M.D. writes about the tendency of abused children to cling tenaciously to the very parent who hurt them. Bessel van der Kolk tells us that people subjected to trauma and neglect are vulnerable to developing the tendency to traumatically bond with those who harm them.
Traumatic bonding is often behind the excuses of battered women for the violence of their partners, and for the repeated returning to a batterer."
Just as the Christian fundamentalists keep crimes private [a family matter], the courts also shelter abusers in a 'family court' system where serious crimes are "mediated" or ignored and too often women and children are blamed for reporting abuse.
At my temporary custody hearing, my attorney, Mr. David Gearing, in his opening statements to the Court, February 28, 1996, said, “Her, (Mrs. Kathy Warner), custody is being challenged now, willfully, intentionally, with full knowledge and with acknowledgment of her husband as to her qualities for 20 years. She has been fit, proper and capable of doing that for twenty years. And, now, we are calling into question her emotional stability and mental health and ability to raise these children. She has been given that role. It is a distraction. We have three doctors who are ready, willing and able to testify, on rebuttal, if necessary. They give her a clean bill of health.” (I had passed six psychiatric exams to prove my mental health and well-being for the court. My abusive ex-husband, V. Martin Warner, Independence, Oregon, failed his court ordered psychiatric exam).
Oregon Circuit Court judges ordered me, a disabled woman, to pay my wealthy abuser/rapist/kidnapper child support for twice of what I earned. I eventually lived out of my car for three years due to the financial ruin of ongoing court hearings since the divorce. I have not had an attorney since 1997 due to poverty. Attorney and court fees exceeded $150,000 during the first year while I sought safety and a divorce. "How I Became a Brood Mare & Egg Donor for the Church & State: Judge Albin Norblad Laughs About Rape."
The treatment I received in Oregon’s courts was more abuse and humiliation. Sexual crimes I endured as a child, my breakdown, my fertility and the ‘rape’ by my husband all became subjects for ridicule in court.
In March 1996, Judge Albin Norblad and my ex-husband laughed in court about the rapes I suffered while I could not care for myself, was mentally and physically incapacitated and was nearly catatonic during this time [1993-1994]. (Chapter 743, Oregon Laws 1971, 163.375) My ex-husband repeatedly raped and beat me during the period of my illness. I was pregnant twice during this time. I have extensive documentation including affidavits from physicians, witnesses, co-workers and neighbors, court transcripts of 45 hours of depositions, court audio tapes and videos, medical, hospital and mental reports to substantiate my story.
Many people are appalled, outraged and disgusted about this case, (rape victim loses custody of her child(ren) to rapist and then is ordered to pay her rapist child support), but are afraid to confront my abusers because of fear of reprisals. Law makers, attorneys, district attorneys, police and society suffers from “rape illiteracy.” There is manipulative rape committed by dates and husbands and intimate partners, not to mention fathers and uncles, babysitters and teachers. There is rape that is quietly coerced under threat, there is rape that is cooperated with in order to survive, there is culturally proscribed rape, and there is rape without physical force. It is all still rape. Many people, believe rape is justifiable, if the husband commits rape.
On July 5, 1993, marital rape became a crime in all 50 states, under at least one section of the sexual offense codes. In 17 states and the District of Columbia, there are no exemptions from rape prosecution granted to husbands. Oregon is one of the 17 states.
Dr. Raquel Bergen, in her document, “Marital Rape,” writes, “Despite the fact that marital rape has not been criminalized for long in the United States, it is clearly a serious form of violence against women and worthy of public attention. The research to date indicates that women who are raped by their husbands are likely to experience multiple assaults and often suffer long-term physical and emotional consequences.
Marital rape may be even more traumatic than rape by a stranger because a wife lives with her assailant and she may live in constant terror of another assault whether she is awake or asleep. Given the serious effects, there is clearly a need for those who come into contact with marital rape survivors to provide assistance and challenge the prevailing myth that rape by one’s spouse is inconsequential.
Dr. Bergen also writes, “In a study of battered women, Bowker (1983) found that they ranked clergy members as the least helpful of those to whom they had turned for assistance. The emphasis of some religious institutions on wives’ responsibility “to obey their husbands” and the sinfulness of women’s refusal to have sexual intercourse with their husbands, perpetuate the problem of marital rape.
Most researchers of marital rape agree that rape in marriage is an act of violence - an abuse of power by which a husband attempts to establish dominance and control over this wife. While the research thus far reveals no composite picture of a husband-rapist, these men are often portrayed as jealous, domineering individuals who feel a sense of entitlement to have sex with their “property.”
A Florida legislator who opposed criminalizing rape in marriage stated, "The state has absolutely no business intervening into the sexual relationship between a husband and a wife." In other words, the state has legally created that relationship and has protected the husband's forced access to the wife. It is this conception of privacy–keeping the wife sexually subjugated to the husband as a matter of law–that cloaks the abuse of wives in legitimacy and a secrecy that stops interference. The right of a man to use his wife the way he wants has been the essential meaning of sexual privacy in law." Andrea Dworkin, Intercourse. This is where domestic violence originates.
Conforming to this ideology contributed to my physical collapse and breakdown in 1993.
In 1996 I was awarded visitation privileges every other weekend. I was subjected to ongoing bullying, threats, physical violence, sexual assault, marital rape, kidnapping and coercive control by my husband before our divorce with the full knowledge of the Court and the attorneys who represented me. I was subjected to further threats, bullying and sexual assault and coercive control after our divorce. Often my ex-husband would not allow my children to see me on Court ordered visitation weekends.
In 1999, I legally changed my name and entered a state address protection program for safety from my ex-husband. A federally funded program, to protect my safety, acknowledged I was a victim of extreme abuse, yet the Courts remanded my eight children to a known perpetrator, the children’s father.
My case speaks loudly of the insidious crimes that are legally permitted and condoned under the guise of church and state-sanctioned domination of males in marriage. The message that the current judicial system gives to many domestic violence and rape victims is that they are not worthy, and that no one cares. Our culture of shaming and victim blaming needs to stop. Benton County District Attorney John Haroldson has written of my story, “'BONSHEA' also illustrates the degree to which the legal system can also be used as a vehicle to further perpetuate abuse even after the victim has chosen to take a stand against the abuse.”
After the traumas of childhood, twenty years of subjugation to Mr. Warner and his extreme religious views, a breakdown and rapes by my husband, the treatment by the courts was a final outrage. Marital and ritual abuse evolved into legal abuse.
At the time of my divorce, I also learned that my husband had abused women in the workplace. One of his victims, Debbie Custis, attended and filed an affidavit at my December 2003 court hearing. Since the publication of my memoir, I have heard from numerous women who have also been abused by my ex-husband in the workplace.
"This truly happened to this beautiful, wonderful woman and mother. I can never fully explain to all of you how horrendous this was. Not only did I try to help Coral, her husband was my supervisor at the time and I was battling my own personal hell with Marty Warner in the work place. He was a disgusting, sexist man, who had no business supervising women in any capacity. He tried/did talk to me "privately" about Coral (captive audience) and my heart ached for her. I didn't even know her at the time and I was sickened for her. I only had to deal with him at work, she had to live with him in her own personal prison!! "It's hard for me to revisit in my mind and memories working for him [Marty Warner] . I was stressed, anxious, and depressed all the time. I don't know how Coral has survived his lies, abuse, sick ideologies, losing her children (yes, I delivered the girls into his hands when she lost her court case, and still remember the screaming and crying coming from my back seat when they were pulled away from their mother). I salute you Coral, want nothing but happiness for you, and grew to love you very much. - Debbie Custis, former Hewlett Packard employee, Corvallis, Oregon, April 20, 2015. *Court Affidavits - Marty Warner Batterers Wife & Children
Due to ongoing court trauma and expense after my divorce, I was forced to live out of my car for three years. For the past 23 years my ex-husband has legally stalked me - 50 court hearings to date. Since the publication of my memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark in 2003, I have heard from thousands of women living in violent relationships - many of them from your districts - who have decided, after reading my memoir, to remain in a violent relationship. They don't wish to suffer the abuse I have experienced via Oregon family courts due to seeking safety and a divorce. They do not wish to "end up like me."
"To exhaust a victim through repeated, frivolous court action aimed at punishing and controlling her, beyond the point where a victim is physically, mentally, or financially able to defend herself, is a form of legal stalking. The family court system, as it is, does not recognize this, and the advocacy system is literally not financially able to help these survivors spend tens of thousands of dollars defending themselves year after year in court." - Joan Zorza, Esq.
After my divorce and continued legal and court trauma, physicians, legal advocates, professors and mentors recommended I write my story. Without training or experience, I became an author, advocate, speaker and military reporter. I presently have an audience of over two million readers on my memoir's social media page. I also assist as a co-administrator on numerous sites that assist domestic violence and rape victims throughout the USA and Australia.
My memoir, BONSHEÁ Making Light of the Dark, was originally published in 2003 while I was living out of my car. BONSHEÁ is a Yaqui Indian word meaning ‘out of the darkness into the light.’
BONSHEÁ Making Light of the Dark shares my search for freedom and light in a society based on patriarchal religion and laws. It openly speaks about the ideas and beliefs in our society which foster sexism, racism, the denigration of human rights and the intolerance of difference. My documentation exposes the dark side of human nature when all people are not valued. A healthy society must have the courage to address these issues, speak about them, examine them and bring them to light. Indifference encourages, "silent violence"-the type of violence I experienced in my home, in the community, religious circles and judicial system. Nobel laureate, Elie Wiesel states, "The indifference to suffering makes the human inhumane." *Five Star Reviews
"I recommend this book for health care providers, those in the criminal justice system, and volunteers or helpers of any kind to get insights and clarity about the complex dynamics of domestic violence and its toxic effects to individuals and society-and what needs to be done to eradicate this pandemic problem." – Barbara A. May, PhD, RN PMHP, Professor of Nursing, Linfield College, Portland, Oregon
"BONSHEÁ also illustrates the degree to which the legal system can also be used as a vehicle to further perpetuate abuse even after the victim has chosen to take a stand against the abuse. In BONSHEÁ, Coral Theill has clearly chosen to take a courageous stand. It is a stand that comes with a cost, but whose dividends are measured in the strength of the soul." – John Haroldson, District Attorney, Benton County District Attorney's Office, Corvallis, Oregon
"You stand TALL amongst many. We're all wounded but some choose to heal so that they can heal others. Continue your incredible work. Even here in Africa, we tell your story....God bless you for this gift to all womenfolk. Look at what it's doing for all of us in the world. It's reaching beyond the sea and cultural divides. I'm at a loss for words. Thank you, Coral, for your light." - Nana Ngobese-Nxumala, Director, Woman Forward Political Party, South Africa
"I would love to discover that every judge, every minister, every person who seeks justice, would read this book! I have consulted thousands of abused women and know that the injustice Coral suffered, the loss of her children, is an all to common experience of abused women seeking to protect their children and to save themselves." - Patricia Evans, Author, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, California
After surviving decades of abuse and torture, I became an advocate --- not only for myself, but for trauma victims and wounded warriors.
I hope my story of survival will encourage and empower women and men worldwide.
For the past several years I have been a guest speaker at colleges, task force meetings, libraries, public meetings, radio and TV shows to help raise awareness about domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse/molestation, ritual abuse, judicial injustice, maternal alienation and court sanctioned kidnapping.
In the spring of 2018 I was interviewed for several hours by an attorney from the U.S. Department of Justice for their documentary on "abuse." I gave them permission to use excerpts of my 2013 published memoir for their film project.
The NEW YORK CITY ALLIANCE Against Sexual Assault published my Oregon story of surviving marital rape in their book, RECLAMATION: A Survivor's Analogy.
RECLAMATION: A Survivor's Anthology by Survivors of Sexual Assault was published March 1, 2018 in honor of the #METOO movement and by the NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault and Survivor's Magazine and is available at Amazon.com
"Sexual assault is an act of seizing power. Reclamation is the process of claiming power back. Within the pages that follow, survivors illustrate the multitude of ways they reclaim their bodies, identities, interests, mental balances, finances, futures, and more. Ultimately, each of these pieces highlight the reclamation of one’s own narrative."
They published my name, my ex-husband and the judge's name who laughed in court (on audio tape) about the rapes I suffered. They published excerpts of t he court transcripts. My court case and transcripts are open to the public. *See Excerpts of Coral Anika Theill's account of marital rape.
I relate to this horrific story - woman in coma gives birth after being raped. The marital rapes I suffered occurred in 1993-1994 while I was suffering from a severe post partum depression & physical breakdown after the home birth of my 7th child. In October 1994 I was living with my brother as I could not take care of myself or my 7 children because of my illness. My brother helped me dress, feed myself, and taught me how to bathe myself. I could barely speak. My husband, Marty Warner, Engineer for Public Works, Monmouth, Oregon, drove from Independence, Oregon to visit me. He told my brother to dress me before he arrived as I was unable to dress myself. My husband picked me up, drove me to a local motel and used me sexually, throughout the night without protection and then dropped me off at my brother's home the next morning.
I became pregnant with my
8th child while in a nearly catatonic condition. I was not allowed adequate medical care and was pregnant twice during this time while I was unable to care for myself. Baptist and evangelical pastors, i.e, Pastor Bill Heard, Roseburg, Oregon, elders and my husband continually told me I was cursed by God, had not learned how to please and "submit to my husband," exorcised me for demons, and shamed and humiliated me due to my illness. I almost died due to their abuse before I sought safety in 1995. "Women in 14 Year Coma Gives Birth in Arizona: What we Know" - Rolling Stone
(DALLAS, OREGON) The Polk County District Attorney’s office failed to pursue criminal charges for marital rape and fraud. They failed to protect me (the rape victim) and instead protected a wealthy man from prosecution and rewarded him financially with the county’s assistance. It is sex discrimination and duplicity – a two-tiered system – one for victims and one for wealthy men.
In 1999, my physicians, mentors and counselors recommended I report the marital rapes I suffered while married to my ex-husband, Marty Warner. While I was being interviewed and taped by a Polk County Deputy Sheriff about the marital rapes I had suffered, Polk County Deputy Sheriff (BPSST # 01313) Bernie F. Krauger walked by and made an obscene statement to me - "What took you so long to report the rapes?" he said. I will never forget his ignorant and rude comment. I hope Polk County Sheriff Mark Garton will use my own story to train his deputy sheriffs and staff so no rape victim is ever shamed and treated like this again. I highly recommend the documentary, "Unbelievable" as an educational tool for all law enforcement and court officials. My published memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark - a local Polk County story - also provides insights for law enforcement officers and court officials.
My published works address abuse and trauma recovery and most recently, wounded Marines and Montford Point Marines. My writings have encouraged and inspired numerous trauma victims and wounded Marines and service members recovering from PTS and TBI.
I have earned the respect of clinical therapists, advocates, professors and authors due to my positive insights as a survivor. BONSHEÁ has been used as a college text for nursing students at Linfield College, Portland, Oregon. In July 2011. My memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark, is on display in the Religious Freedom Room at the Matilda Joslyn Gage Foundation, Fayetteville, New York as well as numerous libraries throughout the USA.
In 2008 I was nominated for the "Andrea Harris Woman of Courage Award" by Gene Deutscher, A U. S. Marine combat veteran. In honor of Mother’s Day 2014, The Pixel Project featured my Interview in the Survivor Stories Blog Interview Project. August 13, 2014, I submitted a request for a hearing with the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights and on August 1, 2015, August 1, 2016 and January 31, 2017 my Oregon case history was filed with the Claim Submitted to the United Nations on Modern Day Human Rights Crisis. I also participated in YOKO ONO'S ARISING PROJECT in Iceland, October 2016.
In July 2011 I received the Lester Granger Award from the National Montford Point Marine Association for my writings and advocacy for the Montford Point Marines. In 2002 I received a Writer's Award from iUniverse Publishing Co. I have also worked as a contributing writer for Leatherneck Magazine and Short Rations for Marines. Proceeds for Short Rations for Marines are donated to the Semper Fi Fund, Fisher House and wounded warriors. My October 2011 Leatherneck Magazine article, "Invisible Battle Scars: Confronting the Stigma Associated with PTS & TBI," is used as a college text for the Marine Corps University, Quantico, Virginia and is cited in the U.S. Army War College "Psychological Health Notes." On July 6, 2018 my story was featured in the Catholic Reporter - Prospective Supreme Court nominee puts spotlight on People of Praise
In January 1996, in preparation for the child custody court hearings, I passed six psychological exams while living in hiding with my three youngest children. Several of the exams were three and four hour interviews from top physicians in Oregon. My ex-husband failed his court ordered psychological exam. By January 1995 I had recovered emotionally and mentally from my previous post-partum depression and collapse.
From 1996 to date my ex-husband, Marty Warner, Independence, Oregon, and his attorneys have degraded me in Court stating that I am mentally ill, crazy and dangerous. [Since 1999 I have lived under a state address protection program from my ex-husband for safety reasons.] I have also been disrespected by the Court throughout these past decades.
My ex-husband's pastors and counselors FAILED to report crimes committed in our home. In court, Judge Albin Norblad and my husband laughed about the rapes I suffered during our marriage during a period of my illness. I was ridiculed in court about the post partum depression I suffered.
My ex-husband, his pastors, family, friends and school teachers alienated my children from me - telling my children and the community various lies - that I abandoned them, was living in a mental hospital, joined a biker gang and/or committed suicide. Sadly, my children have supported my ex-husband's further abuse of me. Several of my adult children have sent me hate letters. Glen Schmauder, my ex-husband's former friend, filed an affidavit for the April 11, 2018 court hearing, on my behalf. (Affidavits and documents available upon request).
My son, Joshua Warner, of Baseball Northwest, posted on his website at Corban University that he was born in Albany, Oregon to Marty Warner (no mother) and that being raised in a family of eight children was easy. (I was blind when I was pregnant with Joshua. As a mother I protected Joshua and his siblings from his rageaholic father.) Christian school teachers at Santiam Christian School, Corvallis, Oregon, shamed my children and told them they had been abandoned by their mother.
I initially retained an attorney in October 1995 to report crimes committed in our home against my children and to seek safety. My husband, Pastor Bill Heard, Roseburg, Oregon and Pastor Ron Sutter, Monmouth, Oregon were aware of the crimes - in their minds the crimes were to remain a "family and church secret." I was threatened not to report the crimes to the authorities. I reported the crimes to the Polk County Sheriff, took my younger daughters to their physician and a counselor. Several months later, I lost custody and finally all contact with my children. My oldest son Aaron Warner, Hillsboro, Oregon, a convicted Oregon sex offender, who raped my 3 and 5 year old daughters could see them any time - I could not, per Court Order. My ex-husband and the pastors who covered up the crimes suffered no consequences.
Many mothers who seek safety from abuse are routinely prohibited from having even the most basic contact with their own children, not because they were unfit parents, but because they were outspent, out represented, and out-maneuvered in a court atmosphere not prepared to understand the needs of families dealing with domestic violence.
Women trapped in relationships with abusers come to expect horrendous misbehavior and violence from their partners. What they cannot fathom is the maddening reinforcement commonly provided to abusive men by the justice system, the religious community and the public at large. Tragically, the key abuse collaborator is the custody judge. Of all the bad actors in a battered woman's life, none wield more power over a mother and her children. It is beyond infuriating when women discover that their custody judges either lack understanding of domestic violence or intentionally collude with abusers to take away women's financial resources and, even worse, their children.
"Losing custody of your child is shameful and elicits public condemnation. It is also the symbol of "patriarchal ownership" that exists still today. The chattel laws of the past are very much alive and the only women who retain custody after divorce are those whose husbands did not fight. When we divorce in this society, we are divorcing the protection of marriage, like an umbrella, the rights given to men were shared with the wife. Once divorced, we are not protected under the law and, therefore, our children are not protected either. Nor do we have a rightful claim to the children we birthed. We are set adrift in a society still clinging to archaic practices. The manipulation and retaliation, the denial and complicit behavior of community are foundations in patriarchal society where male superiority is king, and women who fight back against this rule are punished severely. Mothers desperately, both individually and collectively, need to be vindicated and our good names restored." - Melissa Barnett, ADA Advocate
Batterers frequently use the law and the legal system as a means of enforcing their rights and demands and for continuing to persecute their victims, both mothers and children. “Fathers who battered the mother are twice as likely to seek sole custody of their children as are non-violent fathers.”—American Psychological Association
To unnecessarily and violently separate a woman and her young children can represent the gravest form of abuse, with major social ramifications in generations to come.
Forcibly taking a mother's children, and then controlling her emotionally by withholding contact must be publicly recognized as one of the greatest forms of 'mis-use' of the American justice system and one of the greatest hidden vehicles for wide-spread socially approved physical and emotional abuse and control.
Removing a mother’s children from her, when she has committed no crime, is cruel and unusual punishment. The physical, mental, and emotional toll of surviving the negligence, abuse and trauma from
Coral with her children Fall 1998, Zachary, Hannah & Rebekah Warner, Corvallis, Oregon on a visitation weekend. I have not seen my children since 1998.
LIFE Magazine, USA Today and many other organizations have featured articles on women in prison in America. They report that women prisoners are allowed to keep their babies with them for eighteen months while serving their sentences (Florida Statute 944-24). Presently, I have fewer rights than a criminal in America and I have no criminal record and have no history of alcohol, drug or child abuse.
The men who would destroy women are not necessarily destroying only the mothers, their intent is to destroy the child. The mother is but a tool in this quest. He must destroy her to break the connection and reeducate the child into a likeness of himself, or destroy the child trying. I am an erased mother.
Sergeant Major Brian K. Jackson, USMC (Ret) sent a letter to U.S. Senator Jeff Merkley (OR) and his assistant, Mr. Joel Corcoran on my behalf.
"As I watch the news today, I see all sorts of other cases pretty similar to Coral Theill's. The thing that I just do not understand about our "system" is why or how can we allow what happened to Coral (and is still happening) to happen. Some are held against their will, raped, battered, abused and then glorified as are the three ladies from Ohio. Guys are considered "heroes" as a result of being the person to make a phone call to the authorities about it.
"Then we have those in the same situation (and maybe even worse) who are blamed, ostracized from society, stripped not only of their children but of their dignity, ridiculed, and even forced into hiding and receive absolutely no support from anyone in the justice system who by the way are supposed to be by the people, of the people and for the people." - Excerpt of letter from Sergeant Major Brian K. Jackson, USMC (Ret) to Mr. Joel Corcoran, U.S. Senator Jeff Merkley's assistant, May 9, 2013.
In an effort to promote improved laws for battered women and children, I met U.S. Senator Jeff Merkley at his office in Washington D.C. in July 2014, per the recommendation of his assistant Mr. Joel Corcoran. Mr. Corcoran read my website and numerous articles that detailed my horrific experiences in Oregon's family courts. He suggested I submit a document to U.S. Senator Merkley detailing the decades of legal stalking (45 court hearings) I had been subjected to since seeking safety in 1995.
Photo: Dr. Charles H. Kuttner, Portland, Oregon
My physican, Dr. Charles H. Kuttner, Portland, Oregon, violated HIPPA laws in 1998-1999. My personal life history was given to his close friend and mentor, George D. Amiotte, a former Marine, and an unlicensed therapist for the Veterans' Administration, without my permission. I was threatened, stalked, robbed and beaten and strangled in an attempted murder incident by George D. Amiotte in 1999-2002. I sent records of my retraining order, police reports and other documentation to the Veterans Administration because I feared for my life as well as his future victims. His friends and his Marine comrades fully supported him and revictimized me. It took the Veterans Administration 13 years to finally fire and ban George Amiotte and protect the wounded warriors he had contact with. I sent my documentation regarding therapist abuse and exploitation and filed my concerns about Dr. Kuttner with the Oregon Medical Board. They ruled in favor of
After decades of abuse and court trauma, and then more violence, betrayal and therapist exploitation, I identify with the character of the Vietnamese woman portrayed in the movie, 'Casualties of War' starring Michael Fox and Sean Penn. A group of American soldiers invades a Vietnamese village and capture a young woman. They gang rape her and force her to march with them on their patrol. When they were 'finished with her,' they shot her and threw her over an embankment. Dr. Kuttner's betrayal of me, dismissing my pleas for help regarding his associate, Mr Amiotte, then becoming annoyed with me when I reported I was being threatened, financially exploited and abused by Mr. Amiotte in 1999, has caused me much reflection. There would not have been any professional consequences to Dr. Charles H. Kuttner had I been murdered. I would have only been a 'statistic.'
I revised and re published my memoir in 2013 to include the numerous court hearings that had occurred since 2003. I plan to revise and re publish my memoir in 2019 to include the last 5 court hearings from Nov. 2017 to April 2018 and the final child support judgment Polk County, Dallas, Oregon. As a disabled and destitute woman, I was ordered to pay my wealthy abusive ex-husband $3,815.74. *#METOO City of Monmouth Oregon Condones Rape, Domestic Violence and Child Abuse: Protecting Marty Warner Must End.
On April 11, 2018, Judge Monte Campbell said he felt I had a need to "fight with my ex-husband in court" all these past years." Advocates throughout the United States and worldwide who have followed my horrific case history believe Judge Campbell needs professional counseling and domestic violence awareness training. I believe he forgot that it is my ex-husband that has been legally stalked me for 23 years and that I live under a state address protection program from him.
My son, Aaron Warner, who raped my three and five year old daughters, wrote a vile hate letter on behalf of "the family" that was read to me out loud by Judge Campbell at my child support hearing. My ex-husband thanked my son.
Before the Polk County April 11, 2018 court hearing, my editor Judy Bennett, wrote all my eight children a personal letter informing them about the details of my health and court hearing. My daughter, Sarah (Warner) Bobeda, InFaith Ministries, and my son Joshua Warner & his wife Annie Warner, BASEBALL NW, attended my court hearing in support of my abuser/rapist, Mr. Marty Warner. *Read Coral Anika Theill's Judicial Notice for 2018 and Declaration for Relief for the court hearing.
I have numerous boxes of all the audio, video court tapes, transcripts and 45 hours of abusive deposition video tapes in my possession as well as court documents from 1995-2018. I also published some of the court documents/letters at my website. I will be revising and re publishing my memoir in 2019 to include the last five court hearings in Judge Monte Campbell's courtroom. *Polk County Oregon Court Documents
Prior to my 50th court hearing, Barbara A. May, Ph.D. RN, PMHP, Professor Emerita of Nursing, Linfield College, Portland, Oregon wrote an affidavit and "letter of support.". She sent a copy of this letter to the "Judge Monte Campbell, Presiding Judge," Oregon Governor Kate Brown, the Polk County District Attorney and Oregon Attorney General Rosenblum. Dr. May did not receive a response. Numerous national advocates also contacted Governor Kate Brown and Oregon Attorney General Ellen F. Rosenblum on my behalf - to no avail.
I have suffered 23 years of Oregon court trauma and abuse – there was no justice.
I was molested, beaten and emotionally abused for years as a child – there was no justice.
I suffered twenty years of domestic violence, rapes, beatings and ritual and spiritual abuse while married to my ex-husband, Mr. Marty Warner, of Independence, Oregon – there was no justice.
I suffered unethical and client confidential disclosure against my will, and unethical counseling practices by my trusted physician, Dr. Charles Kuttner, Portland, Oregon, which also led to his mentor and friend, George Amiotte, threatening, stalking, robbing, then beating and strangling me in 2000 – there was no justice.
I am haunted by these questions.
Why was I treated lower than a criminal in America and I have no criminal record and have no history of alcohol, drug or child abuse?Why did I lose all contact with my children when I was a VICTIM of numerous crimes?
Why was full custody of these children given to the PERPETRATOR of these crimes with no questions asked?Why was I subjected to verbal public harassment and humiliation during these court proceedings?
Why was I not appointed an advocate or guardian to support my needs, (physically, emotionally and mentally)? Why was I mandated to pay monthly child support (twice of what I earned)?
Why was I not treated with deference and compassion
Why was I treated lower than a criminal in America and I have no criminal record and have no history of alcohol, drug or child abuse?
Why did I lose all contact with my children when I was a VICTIM of numerous crimes?
Why was full custody of these children given to the PERPETRATOR of these crimes with no questions asked?
Why was I subjected to verbal public harassment and humiliation during these court proceedings?
Why was I not appointed an advocate or guardian to support my needs, (physically, emotionally and mentally)?
Why was I mandated to pay monthly child support (twice of what I earned)?
Why was I not treated with deference and compassion?
In this country today, extreme forms of paternalistic religion promote an institutional form of slavery where a woman must be totally obedient to a husband who has absolute control of her life. The wife’s lot is to obey and bear children. If she rebels and chooses to save herself by escaping from this life, the father—supported by the church community and often by the court system, can forcibly strip a child away from the mother.
"Our society is currently giving mothers a powerful and crazy-making mixed message. First, it says to mothers, “If your children’s father is violent or abusive to you or to your children, you should leave him in order to keep your children from being exposed to his behavior.” But then, if the mother does leave, the society many times appears to do an abrupt about-face, and say, “Now that you are spilt up from your abusive partner, you must expose your children to him. Only now you must send them alone with him, without you even being around anymore to keep an eye on whether they are okay. What do we want? Do we want mothers to protect their children from abusers, or don’t we?" - Lundy Bancroft, Custody Justice
Coral Anika Theill at The George Washington University Law School
Battered Mother's Custody Conference 2013, Washington D.C.
During the period of my breakdown/depression in the spring of 1994, my husband, Marty Warner, and his pastors kidnapped me and left me at the "Wing's of Love" half-way house on Killingsworth in Portland, Oregon, to punish and "break me" (their words) to the will of God.
The house was a shelter for ex-cons, street people and prostitutes. It was filthy and infested with rats and lice. My husband’s debt-free estate, at this time, was over a quarter- of- a million dollars. It was a frightening experience during the period of my illness/breakdown for my “abuser” ex-husband, his Christian cult leaders and religious supporters to be in charge of my “recovery program.” Three months earlier, I had a D & C due to my 3rd miscarriage from being raped by my husband. I was helpless and physically and mentally incapacitated during this time due to my breakdown and partial stroke.
Photo of half-way house, "Wings of Love" on Killingsworth in Portland, Oregon where I lived in 1994. Note: Barbed wire is pointed inward - to keep prisoners from escaping.
During this period of time my ex-husband was following the advice of his unlicensed counselor, Pastor Bill Heard, Roseburg, Oregon and advisors from the Bill Gothard Institute (and cult) in Chicago, Illinois. A Portland, Oregon A.M.E. Baptist pastor and my husband left me here while I was ill and could not care for myself. The pastor was a friend of my midwife, Mabel Y. Dzata, Stayton, Oregon.
When my attorney, Mr. David Gearing, questioned my brother, Don Hall, on witness stand [March 1996] about visiting me in the spring of 1994 at the "Wings of Love" half-way house, my brother broke down and wept at he explained the dangerous and filthy living situation in which I was left while too ill to take care of myself." - Coral Anika Theill, "BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark"
On March 10, 1996, I was forced, by an Order of the Court, and by my ex-husband, Marty Warner, his attorney, his family and religious supporters, to do something that raged against my good conscience, my common sense and against all my motherly instincts.
After a temporary custody hearing, a Court Order signed by Judge Albin Norblad forcibly removed my nursing baby and two youngest children from me. I obeyed the Court Order and gave my children over to my ex-husband. I drove to the hospital, rented a breast-pump and later collapsed and went into shock. I could not understand what had happened and why. I have not yet recovered from the shock; perhaps I never will....
Photo: Coral Anika Theill with her newborn son, Zachary David Warner, July 1995, 8700 Fruit Farm Rd., Independence, Oregon - formerly OfMartin until I escaped my husband, Marty Warner
Zachary David Warner, a nursing infant, was removed from his nurturing mother, Coral Theill on March 10, 1996 per the Court Order signed by Judge Abin Norblad. During the court hearing in March 1996, Judge Norblad stated on the record that he was leaving my three youngest children in my care.
When I sought safety for my children and myself in January 1996, the Court allowed me to live in hiding with my young children prior to the court hearings, due to the testimony and affidavits of numerous witnesses. Belts, fists, logs, fraternity boards, threats, coercive control, gaslighting, cults and bullying were my ex-husband's favorite weapons of choice. My ex-husband also abused numerous women in the workplace. Affidavits and court testimony supporting these facts are filed in our Polk County case file. Portland, Oregon University
Professor Jack C. Straton wrote this profound article about violent fathers that is pertinent to my own abusive marriage: What is Fair for Children of Abusive Men? He writes: "How can we hope to bring true civilization into our lives when each day children are taught aggression and brutality as the means to power?"
Dr. Clarissa Estes writes, "A culture that requires harm to one’s soul in order to follow the culture’s proscriptions is a very sick culture indeed." I think this is true. By obeying the Order of the Court, I betrayed my soul, my children and myself. I was forced to make a choice that no mother should ever be forced to make.
Losing permanent custody and visitation of your children feels like being doused in oil and set on fire. Healing is slow and difficult. The pain never goes away. One doctor describes removing a nursing infant from a mother similar to castrating a man.
In March 1996, I met my physician, Dr. Charles South, in his office. I had no children and was using a breast pump due to my nursing infant being abruptly removed from me per court order. He was shocked and phoned Margie Boule, a columnist for the Oregonian - to no avail.
As the court abuse intensified through the years, I contacted the media and those I felt might be interested in my story. I received kind letters from Gloria Allred, Margie Boule and U.S. Attorney Karin Immergut. Due to the physical, emotional and financial strain of ongoing court hearings and being sued for twice of what I earned for child support, I ended up living out of my car for several years. In 1996, my court and attorney fees amounted to over $150,000. After twenty years of being legally stalked, the cost of my divorce has exceeded $200,000. I am disabled and live under poverty level.
While I was homeless in 2004, I enrolled in college to improve my life, but was forced to leave college after a couple terms due to my ex-husband and his attorney, Mr. J. Michael Alexander, OSB #75010, appealing our case to the Oregon State of Appeals in 2004, CA No. 124851. I was destitute, so I had no monies for an attorney. Instead of college, I wrote my own "legal brief" in response to their appeal for $50,000 more in child support and wanted to force me to attend monthly state supervised visitations with my minor children (which I had opposed as I am not a criminal nor mentally ill). The case was dismissed a year later.
I also received contempt orders from Mr. Warner's attorney, Daniel Van Eaton, Salem, Oregon, was sued and threatened with jail time and received a court order, signed by Judge Paula Brownhill, prohibiting me from my writing or sending my young children gifts in 2003. My crime - my 16 year old son, Joshua Warner, hugged and talked to me at his football game at Santiam Christian School. Teachers at Santiam Christian School told my children I had abandoned them.
Many children who have no contact with their protective parent have clear functional amnesia. They have no memories other than those created and re-created by the controlling parent. These children successfully re-program who and what they are outside as well as within. Traumatic bonding occurs in abused children.
While excluding me from their weddings, my children were quite comfortable inviting my mother and grandmother who sex trafficked me and abused me for years when I was a child. My children were comfortable inviting rapists, abusers and an Oregon Sex Offender to their weddings. I have also been shunned by my in-laws. (i.e, Coach Jeff and Jodi McKay, Corban University) Why?
My son-in-law, Jesse White, engineer for Grande Rhonde Reservation, does not believe my ex-husband, Mr. Marty Warner, abused me or my children. Mr. White has never spoken to me, contacted me, or met me. He showed up in the family picture a decade after the abuse in the family occurred. I was not invited to their wedding in 2001. In July 2007 he posted numerous comments at a newspapers comment section informing the editor that the abuse that I detailed in my published memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark, was made up. Jesse White wrote on July 17, 2007, "As for Mr. Warner, I do not believe I have met a man that has influenced more people in a positive manner." ABUSERS SUPPORT ABUSERS. You can read Letters to my Son-in-law, Jesse White, that were published in my 2013 memoir, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark
I am proud to be an American, but I am ashamed of the laws being abused and the courts that follow them which continue to destroy protective mothers and children’s lives every day.
I believe the courts and churches that are so adamant in punishing women who seek safety have not yet realized the long term ramifications for the victim. As a child, I could not have imagined that Court Orders, due to my ex-husband’s wrath, would prevent me from adequately grieving for the loss of my only sibling, Donald Hall.
I was not allowed to attend my brother’s funeral in 2009. The court order sought by my ex-husband and abuser, denying me visitation privileges also created complications in July 2009. I was not permitted to attend my own brother’s funeral. My brother’s pastor reported that my ex-husband was attending the funeral, as well as my younger children. According to the Oregon Court Order, I could be arrested for attending the funeral due to being in the same vicinity of my younger children—a violation of Judge Paula Brownhill’s court orders. I emailed the pastor my eulogy for my brother’s service.
If you really want to know about our justice system in America, you do not question the judges, police, attorneys and lawmakers, you go to the victims, the unprotected, the vulnerable; those who need the laws protection the most and listen to their stories.
This story must be told so that the society that aids and abets the men and the religions that seek to treat women as slaves might change and my suffering will not have been totally in vain.
PHOTO: Upper L to R: My youngest son of eight children, Zachary David Warner, 2013, Coral Theill and Zachary 1995, Independence, Oregon
Lower L to R: Judge Paula Brownhill, Astoria, Oregon, Judge Albin Norblad, Coral Theill's memoir cover, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark
I feel encouraged by the #METOO movement. I believe, in time, the movement will create change by exposing America's rape culture, toxic masculinity and how patriarchy perpetuates the abuse many of us have suffered. People are saying NO MORE. I hope the #METOO movement will empower those who have been threatened, blamed and shamed for the abuse and/or crimes committed against them.
Domestic violence is a crime. It is a complex problem with roots in an oppressively hierarchical, patriarchal violence-accepting society. Battered women may lose their babies and children, their homes, their friends and their livihood. Survivors of childhood abuse will often even lose their families.
Dr. Charles Kuttner reported Judge Albin Noblad to the Judicial Ethics Committee - to no avail.
I reported attorneys who abused me in the courtroom and violated Oregon State Bar Ethics to the Oregon State Bar - to no avail.
Barbara A. May, PhD, RN PMHP, wrote a two-page MEMO to Kingsley Click, Oregon Court Administrator, reporting the abuse I suffered in Judge Paula Brownhill’s courtroom– TO NO AVAIL. We wrote our letters of complaint because Judge Brownhill serves as “chair” of the Oregon State Advisory Board Committee. I was shocked to receive a personal email from Judge Paula Brownhill asking me what was my problem was. I did not respond to Judge Brownhill’s email and found it inappropriate for her to have contacted me.
I reported the marital rapes I suffered to the Polk County Sheriff's office per the recommendation of my physicians - to no avail.
I reported HIPPA violations by Dr. Charles Kuttner, Portland, Oregon (including documentation - to NO AVAIL. Dr. Kuttner revealed personal client information , including my personal phone number while I was living under an "At Risk" address protection program with Mr. Amiotte without my permission. Mr. Amiotte took good notes and would use that information to exploit and abuse me. with Mr. Amiotte without the permission of his clients, including me. Mr. Amiotte took good notes and would use that information to exploit and abuse me.
I attempted to retain an attorney due to the "Child Abuse Accountability Act" in hopes of seeking restitution from my mother and grandmother who sex trafficked me for years as a young child - to NO AVAIL due to poverty. My mother left me $1.00 and gave my inheritance to my cousin, Beverly Moerke, Walla Walla, Washington. Counselors and friends contacted Mrs. Moerke on my behalf suggesting she share my inheritance so I could finally receive counseling for the rapes I suffered in my own home. They received no reply from Mrs. Moerke.
For the past 23 years I have sought help from Oregon's local and state domestic violence advocates - TO NO AVAIL - while my ex-husband has been legally stalking me - 50 court hearings to date. I have had no legal representation due to poverty.
The journey of healing is a personal one for each individual and not to be judged. It took me a long time to "find my voice." I am thankful for my journey as my past assists me in my writing, advocacy, and gives me a unique overview of the dynamics of the world around me. My collapse in 1993 was from decades of abuse and cruelty, but mostly because my voice and identity had been stripped away at the age of six. My voice was removed before it could ever "form." "If our lips don’t speak it; our bodies will scream it.” - Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D., "Women Who Run with the Wolves"
The work of movements like #MeToo is crucial, and it must continue. Ending violence, rape, sexual assault, and sexual harassment, and combating the stigma and victim-blaming that survivors of these crimes face, are vital tasks that are far from complete." *READ related article: ROB PORTER Scandal a Good Time to Debunk Domestic Violence Myths.
Tolerance of partner abuse and sexual violence remains a widespread problem in our society, the workplace, judicial systems and religious institutions. City of Monmouth employee, Mr. Marty Warner is an abuser, bully, batterer, rapist, child abuser, pathological liar, harasser of women in the workplace, and fundamental cultist. The Human Resources Department in Monmouth, Oregon, has access to all this information and have found "nothing of concern" in our 1,000 page court file. Mr. Marty Warner admitted in court in April 2018 that no one would hire him for four years due to the documentation in my published memoir.
It is terrible for everybody when the truth does not come out.
It is terrible for SOME when it does.
To this day, I remember the terrifying fear I felt for years as a child and also during my marriage that had me lying awake shaking some nights. Every form of abuse has a long lasting effect on each one of us. I have learned to value the horrifying scars of my childhood and past as valuable raw material for soul work. I remind those around me to not forget the millions of women and children who are veterans of intimate wars and private anguish and for whom terror at home is business as usual.
"The more we believe the lies of the abusers the more we silence the truth of the abused, the less justice that will be served. Accusing victims of lying while believing the truth of the abuser is what keeps victims silent." - Katie Heartwell, Abusers And The Abusive People Who Support Them
The freedom that I gained when I broke my silence about the abuse I suffered I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Once secrets are exposed to the light, they lose their power over you. Keeping secrets only protects the abuser. Abuse does not deserve privacy. If violence cannot be talked about, it cannot be stopped. I truly believe more victims would be willing to share their pain, fear and shame if they could expect to be believed, respected and vindicated.
Exposing individuals who aid, support, enable and condone the criminal and violent behavior of abusers and predators is just as important as exposing the men who abuse women and children.
There are individuals mentioned in my story [including my own children] who refused to acknowledge the horrors of my survival of marital abuse and my cry for help. They became an obstacle to my basic human rights—freedom and safety. I am holding them responsible and accountable for the continued trauma I have experienced throughout the past twenty years.
Dr. Sandra L. Bloom, author of Creating Sanctuary argues that psychic health is virtually impossible in our society because we have become desensitized to violence, we have normalized repression, and we have created institutions that repeatedly traumatize the most vulnerable among us. She dares to define violence as more than sexual, emotional, or physical abuse. Allowing our citizens to go hungry or homeless, denying them a quality education or medical care, and tolerating laws and policies that perpetuate these conditions are all forms of violence.
I have concluded by my present circumstances, that the judicial and religious organizations and the people who have aided my former husband, Marty Warner, [and predator George D. Amiotte] all embrace the same views regarding women and children. They believe male power is absolute over women and great harm will come to those who question and/or defy that power. I believe this is the mentality that causes and perpetuates abuse.
I believe my ex-husband and his religious supporters were calloused to my well-being because my well-being is not compatible with their idea of sex – possession, power, control, manipulation, and ego gratification. Their patriarchal God condones kidnapping and rape: Numbers 31:17, 18, Deuteronomy 20:13, 14
Anyone who denies a woman’s (or a child’s) right to be safe, especially when that denial is cloaked in a paternalistic and legalistic religious dogma, contributes to the prevalence of the abuse. The pastors, Christians and ministries who have supported my abusive ex-husband are brutalist Christians and the reason I pray, “Jesus, protect me from your followers.” Many of us wonder what makes legalistic fundamental Christians so mean. They fail to recognize the severe and far-reaching consequences of domestic violence to our society, and that women in situations like mine will have to prepare for the worst.
Patriarchy [Christianity] continues to encourage a fear-based authoritarian structure that has segregated people into positions of superiority or inferiority. This type of tyranny prohibits personal empowerment and demands unquestioning obedience and submission. Many people believe the judicial system in America is structured in the same manner as the patriarchal church system.
"Patriarchy is simple not the domination of women by men. Patriarchy is an integral system in which men's control of women's sexuality, private property, war, violence, and the institutions of conquests, rape, slavery, arise and thrive together. The different elements are so intertwined that it is impossible to separate one as the cause of the others. Patriarchy is an integral system of interlocking oppressions, enforced by violence. The whole of the patriarchal system is LEGITIMATED by patriarchal religions. This is why changing religious symbols is necessary if we hope to create alternatives to patriarchal religions." - Carol P. Christ
What I learned through these past few decades is that domestic violence, rape, child abuse and child sexual molestation is socially acceptable in our society and often in many church settings. This needs to change!
Victims often suffer in silence in a world that prefers a 'convenience' of blissful ignorance than a confrontation with dark truth. I will not stay silent so you can be comfortable.
The judicial system acts as the conscience of this country but we know, in most cases, that is not what happens. Those with money and power control the narrative, silence the truth and thwart justice. I want my good name restored.
I have asked myself, "What does the human spirit need in order to heal and move on? They need a safe place to know that they (and others) will be protected from their perpetrator, they need accountability---someone to hold their perpetrator accountable, they need restitution or material compensation for the losses incurred by the perpetrator and they need vindication (not revenge)---to be set free. Scars remain, but healing is sufficient so as not to continue to be held in bondage to the trauma.
When there is no justice, there is no healing. I continue to believe in surprises, miracles, imminent possibilities and ONE FINE DAY.
I believe in seeking to defeat injustice, not people. I believe that the Universe is on the side of “justice” and that right will prevail.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Coral Anika Theill
Author, Advocate, Speaker & Reporter
D.V./Rape & Ritual Abuse Victim/Survivor
Memoir: BONSHEÁ Making Light of the Dark
Erased/Alienated Mother of 8
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