Maternal Alienation, Maternal Deprivation and Domestic Violence by Proxy
Dedicated to Mothers of Lost Children, Protective Mothers & their Alienated Children
MATERNAL ALIENATION FACT SHEET Remembering the History of America - In December 2016, I had the honor and privilege of visiting the National African American Museum of History & Culture. I was profoundly moved and grieved as I learned more details of this obscene part of American history. I took a picture (see below) of one of the exhibits about women slaves being separated from their babies at auctions. Although my pain is different, I related to the horror the women and children experienced.
Oprah Winfrey often states on her program, “America is the safest place in the world for women.” Tens of thousands of mothers in America would be quick to disagree with Oprah’s words. We bear invisible, but permanent battle wounds from years of abuse in America’s family court system. Our mental scars and years of court documentation prove that seeking safety in America often costs more than money. The price of safety in America has been too high for all of us – it cost us our children and our right to be a mother.
Two hundred years ago a system of legal slavery allowed for the ownership of human beings as if they were livestock. Children were ripped away from their mothers with as little consideration as separating a calf from a cow. In this country today, extreme forms of paternalistic religion promote an institutional form of slavery where a woman must be totally obedient to a husband who has absolute control of her life. The wife’s lot is to obey and bear children. If she rebels and chooses to save herself by escaping from this life, the father—supported by the church community and often by the court system, can forcibly strip a child away from the mother. Battered wives and mothers in Oregon and throughout the USA (as well as internationally) have read my horror story. Many believe it is “safer” to stay in an abusive marriage than risk seeking help through the courts. They do not want to end up like me, i.e., losing custody of their children and babies, sued for twice they earn, being legally stalked for the rest of their lives, living out of their car, destitute and homeless. Many mothers who seek safety from abuse are routinely prohibited from having even the most basic contact with their own children, not because they were unfit parents, but because they were outspent, out represented, and out-maneuvered in a court atmosphere that seems to favor those who inflict domestic violence. Women trapped in relationships with abusers come to expect horrendous misbehavior and violence from their partners. What they cannot fathom is the maddening reinforcement commonly provided to abusive men by the justice system, the religious community and the public at large. Tragically, the key abuse collaborator is the custody judge. Of all the bad actors in a battered woman's life, none wield more power over a mother and her children. It is beyond infuriating when women discover that their custody judges either lack understanding of domestic violence or intentionally collude with abusers to take away women's financial resources and, even worse, their children. Forcibly taking a mother's children, and then controlling her emotionally by withholding contact must be publicly recognized as one of the greatest forms of 'mis-use' of the American justice system and one of the greatest hidden vehicles for wide-spread socially approved physical and emotional abuse and control.