In the Absence of Justice and Validation

The ongoing ABSENCE of basic justice, integrity, fairness or care from family or community is a major causes of lingering anxiety and depression in a large number of individuals. In groups of people such as families, friendships, communities, and businesses that are toxic, when a manipulative, disrespectful, or abusive person targets another person, they often immediately ALSO start covering up their tracks.


Denial is the most common method, simply denying they did anything wrong, or anything AT ALL.


Then there's justification, "I only did or said that because... "

Then there's victim-blaming, where they blame their target for "causing" whatever happened.


(Reality is, of course, victims can't control other people's behavior or language.)


Or accusing the target victim of lying or exaggerating, or being unstable.


In a HEALTHY group, the event is rectified and validated, in other words, people ACKNOWLEDGE that the manipulation, disrespect, or abuse took place.


  • The perpetrator is dealt with appropriately to whatever they did or said.

  • The target/victim is treated with consideration, respect, and validation, and protection and care when they need it.


In UNHEALTHY groups and relationships, however, the target/victim is often NOT acknowledged, protected, or validated. (Unless they're favored by certain people in the group)


The toxic group goes along with the perpetrator's attempt to cover up and deny what he or she said or did.


IN SUCH GROUPS, THIS BEHAVIOR CONTINUES INDEFINITELY.

The target/victim is often turned into a "Scapegoat" in order to COVER UP what was done to him or her, not only by the original perpetrator, but by all the people who participated in the cover-ups.


WHEN "TOXIC" PEOPLE SEE THAT A PERSON IS BEING SCAPEGOATED, THEY WILL JUMP ON BOARD AND JOIN IN WITH TREATING THE PERSON POORLY.

And then THEY cover THEIR tracks as well.


THIS ONLY HAPPENS IN TOXIC, UNHEALTHY GROUPS THAT ARE OVERWHELMED WITH MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL ILLNESS.


This does NOT OCCUR in mentally and emotionally healthy groups or relationships, except in rare cases.


IN MOST MODERN COMMUNITIES, THIS BEHAVIOR IS NOW RAMPANT. Regardless of ancestry, religion, politics or financial status.


The anxiety and depression that many target/victims continue to experience as "chronic" is often caused by NOT ONLY trauma from obvious incidents, but FROM THE ABSENCE AND DENIAL OF BASIC AND NORMAL FAIR, ETHICAL, KIND, CARING OR JUST TREATMENT AND ACTIONS FROM THEIR OWN COMMUNITY.


(From people whom they should be able to trust, people who are supposed to be their support network, people and groups who are supposed to uphold justice or give care or protection, and groups they are a member of.) ~ S. J. Cole


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