A Life time of Psychic Shock: Losing One's Children via Family Court Causes Inconsolable Grief
"Losing one’s children via family court causes inconsolable grief and a lifetime of psychic shock. Understanding the correlation between our patriarchal society and patriarchal court system has assisted me in my survival.
I will never get over the loss of my children. "The beautiful words in Christine Pahl's "Forward" for my published memoir, could be written for and to any mother who has lost her babies and children through court sanctioned kidnapping.
"The need to tell people to “get over it” is born out of our own need to escape the reality of the evil that actually exists in this world. What happened to Coral is pure evil and a testimony to the vulnerability we all have. Whose side are we on?" - Christine Pahl, MS, LPC
"Forcibly taking a mother's children, and then controlling her emotionally by withholding contact must be publicly recognized as one of the greatest forms of 'mis-use' of the American justice system and one of the greatest hidden vehicles for wide-spread socially approved physical and emotional abuse and control.
"Taking a woman’s children is the last great punishment an abuser can scar them with. Nothing justifies the minimization or removal of a fit and loving parent from a child’s life. NOTHING."
Haunting Memories: My precious 6 year old daughter, Rebekah Warner and my 10 month old son, Zachary - June 1996, Corvallis, Oregon - (They are now 26 and 21).
I have not seen them since 1999. When I traveled to Oregon in September 2016, I left my children gifts, a letter and my contact information. I never heard from them.
TODAY, March 10, 2017, I finished writing an OPEN LETTER TO OREGON GOVERNOR BROWN, LAWMAKERS & ADVOCATES. I shared an overview of the five decades of abuse & torture I have survived.
It hurts me to write my story. What happened makes no sense - it will never make any sense except in a horror movie. Here is an excerpt of my letter.
"The treatment I received in Oregon’s courts was more abuse and humiliation. Sexual crimes I endured as a child, my breakdown, my physical shortcomings, my fertility and the ‘rape’ by my husband all became subjects for ridicule in court while I was on the witness stand. Oregon Circuit Court Judge Albin Norblad laughed when he heard I became pregnant when my husband raped me. When I complained, I received a letter from the Oregon State Bar informing me that I deserved this treatment because I had a previous breakdown/depression years earlier.
"Due to the physical, emotional and financial strain of ongoing court hearings and being sued for twice of what I earned for child support, I ended up living out of my car for several years.
"While I was homeless, I attempted to go back to college after my divorce to improve my life, but was forced to drop out after a couple terms due to my ex-husband and his attorney, Mr. J. Michael Alexander, appealing our case to the Oregon State of Appeals in 2004. I was destitute, so I had no monies for an attorney. Instead of college, I wrote my own "legal brief" in response to their appeal for $50,000 more in child support. I also received contempt orders, was sued and threatened with jail time and received a court order signed by Judge Paula Brownhill, prohibiting me from writing or sending my children gifts. My crime - my 16 year old son, Joshua Warner, hugged me at his football game at Santiam Christian School.
"My ex-husband, his pastors, family, friends and school teachers alienated my children from me - telling my children and the community various lies - that I abandoned them, was living in a mental hospital, joined a biker gang and/or committed suicide. I am an erased mother.
Coral Theill with her newborn baby, Zachary David Warner, July 1995
Sadly, my children have supported my ex-husband's further abuse of me personally and in the courtroom. Several of them have sent me hate mail."
In her book, The Motherless Child Project Robin Karr writes, "When the maternal alienation abuser completely takes over the will of the child by using brainwashing techniques similar to those used in prison camps - where deprivation and isolation are used to force ideological changes in captives - these children often have a sort of trauma-bonding with the abuser and model their behavior. The pain and agony a mother endures when she is separated from her child is unbearable. I've often said that when you take a mother's child from her, you have killed that mother. The grief is not just over the separation of mother and child, but also over the fact that it was inflicted by someone who knew no pity. The family court judges (and cohorts) who separate children from their mothers for profit have black hearts. Frankly, that's a level of evil my mind cannot comprehend."
Coral Anika Theill with her three youngest children. L to R: Zachary, Hannah & Rebekah Warner) on a "visitation weekend" in 1998. In 1999, I legally changed my name, entered an address protection program and left the state.